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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24549103">Dating Dean</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/d_l_star/pseuds/d_l_star'>d_l_star</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, Slow Burn, not sure yet - Freeform</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 01:08:46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>27,265</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24549103</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/d_l_star/pseuds/d_l_star</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Getting to know Dean Winchester and eventually dating him.  - Going for a nice slow burn, and maybe something more normal then dark fic. Let me know what you think.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dean Winchester/Original Female Character(s), Dean Winchester/Reader, Dean Winchester/You</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>38</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>27</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I was new to town. Such a cliché, moving to small town Kanas to get away from it all. My uncle had recently passed, and as the only remaining family member I inherited a bar on the edge of a small town call Lebanon with a small house.  From what my uncle left behind it was financially profitable and the house was fully paid for. Since graduating university a few years ago I had floated from one corporate job to the next, never seeming to find my place.  I knew that if this didn't go well I could always sell it and move somewhere else, but frankly rural America called to me. </p><p> </p><p>My first week in town no one spoke to me, I was some outsider and they wanted nothing from me.  However within a week of meeting my two employees, the day bartender and the night bartender, and starting to stock up from the local grocery store and liquor store that seemed to change.  Most people were nice, some where judgemental, what was a 32 year old woman doing unwed and running a bar of all things.  But most people came around once they got to know me.  A masters in business meant that I wanted to be involved in the local business economics, and was quick to introduce myself to other owners. </p><p> </p><p>The bar itself was a dive, and the parton's that were regulars were truckers, vagrants or men looking to hide from their wives.  I quickly learned who my locals were, and quickly established a schedual with my employees. I would work Tuesday and Wednesday during the day, and Friday and Saturday nights. We were open from 2 pm till 2 am and closed on Sundays.  It was a good little routine, and except when someone was sick I still had time to putter around town working on this or that project. </p><p> </p><p>Six months into owning the bar I had expanded us from 11 am to 2 am, open Sundays from 11 am to 7 pm, and hired a cook and two part timers for meal service.  I also had a small storage business for the locals that didn't come to town often. I would pick up their groceries for them once a week or month and store them in the freezer until they came to pick them up. Like a poor mans insta-cart.  Within my first month I had 20 customers and got to know them all pretty well.</p><p> </p><p>Within a year I had expanded, and added a small expansion.  I had added a small dining area and dance floor, and increased capacity.   Soon my little bar now had two types of clients. During the day we had families, and almost promptly at 9 pm we turned back into a bar, and had some dancing, pool tables, and drunks.  I loved it.   I was doing great and loved slowly fixing up the place.  Most of my regulars where ok with the changes they saw, and dare I say most even liked them.  Even the roaming biker gangs that seemed to pass through from time to time seemed to enjoy my place better. Only had one incident where I had to pull my shot gun on one of them, and from then on they were respectful, and honestly really good customers.   Johnny my night bartender said I had a way about me. It soothed the soul of the beasts.  I laughed and continued on with my business.</p><p> </p><p>I meet Sam and Dean through Linda, our post office clerk. She called me and told me she had sent the two brothers over to see me about adding to my storage business.  Linda was the local post master, and had a huge crush on the brothers. I still hadn't met them but if Linda was any indication they might have hung the moon and stars with their smiles.</p><p> </p><p>9 pm hit and my regulars started to come in.  I was busy with them when two men I didn't know came and sat at the bar ordering a drink.  I didn't think anything of it till Johnny came over and told me these guys were asking for the owner.  To quote Johnny, "that he (the owner) knew they were coming." I laughed as I took Johnnys bar towel and slide behind the bar. Bringing over a bottle of whiskey with me to the men. </p><p> </p><p>"I understand your looking for the owner?"  I said refilling their drinks.</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah, is he around?"  The man with short hair asked looking me up and down, I knew his next word would be some sort of pick up line.  </p><p> </p><p>Shaggy quickly responded, "Sorry, my brother has no manners.  My name is Sam, and this is Dean. Linda from the post office said that Lil Jo would be able to help us about doing monthly food pickups."  Shaggy's, I mean Sam's, smile was gorgeous and I understood Linda right away. </p><p> </p><p>"I'm Lil Jo, actually I'm Lily, but my uncle was Joe, and half the regulars can't remember their phone numbers, so I said I was Lil Jo and it stuck.  I own this place." </p><p> </p><p>"Your the owner? I come all the time and I've never seen YOU here before?" Dean says smiling at me. I rolled my eyes back at him.</p><p> </p><p>"I work both days and nights, and you clearly are a stumble in at 2 am stumble out at 3 am kindof guy." His face turned sour. "So Sam here's how it works, you give me your list and I go buy everything for you. Its $50 an hour for my time to shop, and $50 a month for storage.  Most people only do one or two shops a month, so your looking at your food cost plus $100-200.  I buy in bulk when I can, and I won't do produce unless you give me a pick up day and time.  Its cash on delivery and honestly tipping goes a long way."  I smile at him, my mind not helping looking him over. Most of the single men that come in here are loners, hunters, truckers so its a nice change to see a pretty face. </p><p> </p><p>"Totally that's not an issue at all. We're in town right now so it would be every two weeks. I have a list here with me.  We were out of town until yesterday, is there any way we could pick it up tomorrow? I'll pay for the rush." </p><p> </p><p>"Yeah I can totally do that.  What time you thinking?"</p><p> </p><p>Before Sam could answer Dean did, "How about I pick it up at 4 tomorrow?"</p><p> </p><p>"Sure," I nod at him taking the list from Sam. The guys start around and play pool. They throw back their liquor pretty good, and seem un-phased when they leave at 1 am.  Dean was almost pornographic about getting a burger, but I told him I would have one for him tomorrow when my cook was in, he made the best bacon cheese burgers ever. </p><p> </p><p>I closed up for the night with Johnny and when Johnny slid me the tip the brothers left even I was surprised. Drunk guys always left me $20-$50 tips but the crisp $100 was a new one for me.  There was a small note with it, sorry for being an ass.  I laughed as I paid Johnny out half and he dropped me off at home.  It was a good night, and as I headed to bed. I couldn't help but laugh as I had 3 voicemails from Linda, asking me about what I thought about the brothers.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I was up at 6 and off to do my shopping for the day. I had a few orders, but definably laughed at the order from the Winchesters and the comment written on the side - All the bacon.  I knew right away that was from Dean.   It was odd that I felt butterfly's in my stomach about him coming to pick up their order.  In truth I was kind of disappointed that Sam wasn't coming as well.</p><p> </p><p>I slid into the diner at 2 and the lunch rush was almost over. Louie was preparing for dinner. I sorted everything and was just about to sit down for lunch myself when Dean came in.  I stood leaving my food on the table.</p><p> </p><p>"Hi Dean, I have everything ready for you. Do you want to drive up to the back door and we can load it into your vehicle?"</p><p> </p><p>"I was promised the worlds best burger, lets do that first."  He smiled and I couldn't help but smile back at him.  Damn I liked that smile.</p><p> </p><p>I nodded told Louie about the order and sat back down to eat myself. Dean slid in to my booth causing me to look up from my tablet and financials I was working on.    "Sorry Dean I have a lot of work to do." </p><p> </p><p>"No worries, its break time for lunch. I'll eat with you." The way he said it wasn't really a questions, and it caused me to smile, and shake my head at him.  Persistent for sure.  I had a burger brought out for him and he might have died a little while he ate it, making the funniest faces. Commenting on it really being the best damn burger.  I smiled, I mean I knew the Louie made really great burgers, but this man turned it into a religious experience.  </p><p> </p><p>Dean chatted on about this and that, he asked about how I grew up, about where I went to school, and things like this.  It was the basic get to know you chatter. When I asked him the same about him he got quieter, dodging some questions all together. He never did any post secondary, no trade school, or anything like that. He sounded a lot like the bikers that passed through here actually.  Men who lived on the road, didn't really do anything specific, and yet seemed to have very full lives. These are the type of men that never settle long, and keep jumping from one thing or another.  They aren't bad guys per say, but definitely have done some bad things.   I was unsure about Dean. </p><p> </p><p>After lunch he brought his car around the back for me to load up. I was amazed when I saw it, it was hot. </p><p> </p><p>"That is one hell of a car,"  I whispered drooling over it.</p><p> </p><p>"Yep, my Baby." Dean said helping me load the supplies in the car. </p><p> </p><p>"Ok, I admit it, its a nice car."  I said walking around it. </p><p> </p><p>"You a car enthusiast?"  Dean asked putting the last box in the back seat. </p><p> </p><p>"Not really cars, I have 1983 Harley XR, and my uncle had a few bikes in pieces in the backyard. I'm no mechanic, but I'm learning lots and spending time working on them.  Some of the local bikers bring me pieces here and there or help me with things they can.  Its been a project to work on in my spare time."</p><p> </p><p>"My dad loved bikes, I have some basic mechanic skills if you need help with anything."  Dean offered leaning on his car.  Dear lord Linda would kill me right now.  He looked hot, I couldn't help it. Him and that car were... Well they were hot.</p><p> </p><p>"Thanks," I said our conversation coming to an end.  I stood by the back door, unsure what else to say.  Dean had no problem filling the silence, getting into my bubble a little too close for my tastes.</p><p> </p><p>"Maybe I could give you a ride sometime?"  I couldn't hold back the snort giggle from the suggestive wording. "Maybe your next day off we could do a mini road trip?" This made me snort again. Dear lord I was hopeless.  "Clearly you think I'm funny, that's a start."  Dean smiled, then reaching into the car and grabbing a napkin and pen.  "Here is my number, how about you call me your next day off." </p><p> </p><p>I nodded and smiled as Dean climbed into the car and drove off.  Damn he had confidence I'll give him that much. A week or two later Sam came in to grab a bite to eat.  It was a slow day, which was a nice for a change.   I brought Sam a burger and he smiled at me.</p><p> </p><p>"Actually could I get salad and the chicken wrap?"   I smiled and nodded, he grabbed the plate gently. "Actually if you have a take home container Dean would love this." Again I nodded and went off to place his order.   I was busy running around and getting things prepped for the night.  Sam waited at the till for me to come to pay.</p><p> </p><p>"Hey, would you have a problem if I told Dean you made this for him?"  Sam asked while paying.  I smiled shyly for a moment and nodded. "Look I'm sorry if this is too forward of me, but here is his number." Sam had written it on a napkin just like his brother.</p><p> </p><p>"Did you drive out here just to ask me out for your brother?"  I asked holding the napkin up slightly impatiently.  It was both horribly annoying and adorable at the same time. </p><p> </p><p>Sam had this caught with his hand in the cookie jar kind of look. "Its just....Ok look you caught me. Its just honestly he has said something about you, or this burger, or something about your bike like once a day.  Dean doesn't actually find many women interesting," I smiled at the comment, "but you got to him.  I can't remember the last time that happened.  So maybe have a drink with him, or something.  I don't know."</p><p> </p><p>"Fine, one date. But that's it. This is your one freebie Sam."  Sam smiled as I took the napkin. </p><p> </p><p>Sam smiled and paid, driving away in a beat up pickup truck.   </p><p> </p><p>I was off for the night and once I got home I texted Dean.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>L: Hey, this is Lily.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>D: Hey, thanks for the burger, it was amazing!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>L: Glad you liked it.   What you doing tomorrow?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>D: Not a damn thing. What about you?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>L: Meet me at my place for 10?  Roadtrip gear.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>D: AM or PM?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>L: AM, I was gonna say 8 am but I had a feeling mornings aren't your thing.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>D: Are they anyone's?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>L: 10 am and I'll bake something fresh for lunch.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>D: Did Sam tell you?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>L: Tell me what?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>D: Pie... Can you bake Pie?  Pie, Pie, Pie.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>L: So mmmm pie then?  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>D: Cherry?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>L: Did you really just ask for Cherry pie?  Wow demanding aren't you.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>D: Please?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>L: Wow, did you just beg for pie?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>D: I am not a proud man when it comes to pie.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>L: OMG LOL.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>D: :)</em>
</p><p>
  <em>L:  K, cherry pie, fresh out of the oven, but if your late your riding bitch on my bike.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>D: I'll be on time for pie. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>L: TTYL.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>D: Night.</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I heard Dean drive in at 9:50, the porch creaked under his feet, and he knocked on the door.  I fixed my hair in the hall mirror and opened the door.  The smile on his face lite up the room.</p><p> </p><p>"I could smell pie for the moment I hit your drive way." He smiled</p><p> </p><p>"Well hello to you to," I smiled.</p><p> </p><p>"You made me pie, because I asked." He smiled at me all doe eyed.</p><p> </p><p>"Yes," I nodded.</p><p> </p><p>"Will you drive with me today?" </p><p> </p><p>"Why Dean that sounded like a proposal."  </p><p> </p><p>"Well I haven't tasted the pie yet."  Dean said picking up the basket I had set up at the front door. </p><p> </p><p>"Wait till you see what I made for lunch."  I smiled locking the door and heading to the car.</p><p> </p><p>Dean stopped at my bottom stair. "Don't mess with me, what did you make for lunch?"</p><p> </p><p>I couldn't help but laugh, he was adorable.  Damn he might have a heart attack when I tell him.  "Its a surprise." He didn't move.</p><p> </p><p>"Tell me," he said in this slightly growly voice.   Damn I had to admit between the pouting and the growly this man was going to be the death of me.</p><p> </p><p>"I made shepherds pie."  I could tell the look on his face he was clueless. "Its meat, veggies and potato's in a pie shell."</p><p> </p><p>"There is first course pie? Why didn't I know about this?"  He smiled moving to put the basket in the back seat.  I crawled into the front seat of the car.  </p><p> </p><p>"Because you didn't have me." I smiled.  Then turned several shades of red realizing what I had just said.  Dean smiled that ear to ear smile and jumped in, turning on the ignition. "Damn that sounds good." </p><p> </p><p>"Yeah it does." Dean said and we were off.  I navigated and Dean drove. The old school rock bellowing as we had the windows up and just enjoyed the drive.  It was that same feeling of free you get when you ride a Harley.  Just over an hour later we hit Harlan County Lake, and another 10 minutes later we hit my small patch of paradise. My uncle had left me a small cabin and enough land in Bone cove that I had privacy. It wasn't much but it had nice fishing, a nice beach, and a great view of the sunset. </p><p> </p><p>We had a great lunch, and Dean didn't stop going on and on about pie.</p><p>"Its so moist, and flavorful." It got to the point I told him he wasn't aloud to say anything but that it was good, because it sounded pornographic.  We talked a lot and I suggested we go for a swim.  He didn't bring a suit but was about to go in anyways when he saw my boat. It was a bit nicer then your average fishing boat, and then he got talking about fishing and a few nice times he had with his dad. I ended up taking Dean out on the boat for some fishing after a while, which made me laugh. He pouted like a kid when I said it really wasn't a good time for fishing. But once we out on the lake I got it, he just liked the quiet and the feeling of the boat rock on the water. That I understood.</p><p> </p><p>We finished the day with some beer on the beach as the sun set and it was a great day.  When Dean dropped me off that night he walked me to my door which was sweet. I had already told him I wouldn't invite him in, and yet we still ended up awkwardly standing at my door.  My back to the door I finally called it.</p><p> </p><p>"I really should be heading to bed, I have to get up early tomorrow."</p><p> </p><p>Dean nodded and was about to head down the steps.  I didn't want this perfect day to end this way.  He was down the first step when I tapped him on the shoulder and he turned around in spot. I kissed him. It started out soft and gentle. Like a peak, but the way his hands found my hair and pulled me close. Then the way he stepped back up while kissing me.  When my back hit the door again it reminded me of everything. I was so lost in the kiss. It was soft, but demanding.   Wet but not sloppy.  His lips were so damn soft, and his jaw so perfect. When my arms reached around him it took all my will power not to jump him.  He was a perfect gentlemen. His hands never straying from my hair or hips, and damn it I wish I was that kindof girl for a moment. </p><p> </p><p>As we separated we were both flush.  "I should go," he said taking more then a few steps this time.  </p><p> </p><p>"K, night." </p><p> </p><p>"Night," he said turning and heading back to his car.  I locked the door and turned off the porch light when he drove away.  My heart still beating a million miles a minute. </p><p> </p><p>It was just after 1:30am when I got the call from the bar.  The bikers were in town and where making a ruckus.  My part timer really wasn't handling it well and needed help.  I sighed as I headed over. Causing a ruckus was an understatement.  Two of my regulars had already gotten in a brawl with this biker crew that I didn't know that had come through.  I got them separated and convinced not to kill each other.  Just after 2 two new bikers came in clearly high on something, and it took all my skills to convince them not to fight others. By 2:30 I had cleared out anyone from town and was left with just the bikers. By 3 shit was getting worse. </p><p> </p><p>"Alexa 119,"  I yelled at the damn machine. It was my code to text my address book for back up.  This consisted of two of the local deputies, and two ex marines I knew, other business owners would know it meant I needed help for clean up tomorrow.  Everyone knew what the code meant, 911. </p><p> </p><p>Two of the bikers mocked me talking to the machine and repeated it, not realizing what they were doing.  When my vets showed up they helped me slowly convince the less violent ones to leave.  But when one of the deputies showed up in his squad car a rough looking man grabbed me by the throat and pulled me over the bar like I was a rage doll.    </p><p> </p><p>"I'm not going back," he yelled holding a gun to my head as he squeezing tighter around my neck.  My vets both backed off, and told the man he could go no one would stop him.  The biker started to pull me backwards to the back door. Squeezing my throat so tight, I was seeing black. I had to keep fighting to breath, if I passed out I might not wake up again.   With a thunk the big man went down, as he did two big arms wrapped around me and pulled me close. I started to cry.  It wasn't till 10 minutes later I realized what happened.</p><p> </p><p>Sam and Dean had come, and where coming in the back as he was going out.  They had disarmed him, knocked him out, and Dean had pulled me to safety while Sam and the two vets restrained him.   Of course this biker had warrants out for him, including two for murder.  The deputy took him to the next town, and I sat on the back floor of my bar, crying in Deans arms. Sam grabbed an ice pack from the freezer, and helped me into a stool at the bar.  I wanted to assess the damage. My vets insisted on checking me out, when they are happy I am generally ok they help me close. My voice is gone, its hard to swallow and its like a sore throat from hell but I was physically ok.  As they finished locking up Dean insists they will take me home personally and everyone but me agreed. </p><p> </p><p>When I get home Dean won't let me walk to my door, he carries me in, Sam leading the way with my keys, turning on lights and when the loudest alarm in the world sounds Dean has to drop me so I can turn it off.  The alarm company calls, and I have to give them the all clear before they will reset the system. Both men look at me as I reset the system even though we are inside.  Dean insists that they are staying the night and when we head up stairs they see much more then I wanted them too.  I have two guest bedrooms but they are surprised at the number of locks on the inside for each. I try to explain but it hurts.  Sam gets it.  Its to secure yourself in.  I nod and you couldn't have missed the look between the men if you were blind. </p><p> </p><p>I climb into my most comfy of jammies and tell the boys good night. I lock my bedroom door always and within a minute hear my phone ding.  First its my deputy and bartender checking in on me.  Yep all good, all safe.  Next its Dean.</p><p> </p><p>D: Did I really hear 4 different locks? </p><p>L: Maybe</p><p>D: Are you ok, is it ok that we stay here tonight?</p><p>L: Yes totally.</p><p>D: Do you want to talk about it? </p><p>L: Not really a first date kindof thing.</p><p>D: Good thing our first date was yesterday.   Today is a new day as they say. </p><p>L: We all have bad history</p><p>D: I get that.</p><p>L: Can we not today.  Another time I promise. Just no knocking on my door ok. </p><p>D: Why?</p><p>L: If I'm sleeping it freaks me out, plus there is a motion detector downstairs.  So your stuck up here till I get up.</p><p>D: What if you need us, or help?</p><p>L: How about you text me I'll leave my phone on.</p><p>D: K.</p><p>...</p><p>D: You sure you're ok?</p><p>L: Nope, but going to sleep. Night Dean.</p><p>D: Night</p><p> </p><p>When I woke up at 9 am the next morning I almost panicked. I promptly texted everyone, but they had already heard what happened and had handled it.  Louie told me to take the next day or two off, and this settled me some.  I got out of bed and started my day, forgetting about the two men sleeping in the extra rooms.  When Sam came down into the kitchen and said morning I jumped, and then threw a plate at him.  It hit him square in the head.   The small cut started to bleed instantly.</p><p> </p><p>"Shit I'm sorry Sam," I said as I made Sam sit, and as Dean was coming into the kitchen he saw me butterfly bandaging Sam.</p><p> </p><p>"Everything ok?"  He asked, he voice hinting at more then this scene.</p><p> </p><p>"I hit him with a plate,"  I said in a scratchy voice. </p><p> </p><p>"Its fine, I scared you. I'm sorry." Sam said giving Dean a look that was full of meaning.</p><p> </p><p>I poked Sam's wound and he hissed.  "Stop apologizing or I will hit you with another plate." </p><p> </p><p>Dean chuckled and then without any word started to make up three plates of food for each of us for breakfast. Swallowing still hurt so I pretty much stayed to yogurt and orange juice. Dean taking my extra bacon and Sam having my fruit. </p><p> </p><p>"So are you dyslexic or why 119 as your emergency code?" Sam asked as we started eating.</p><p> </p><p>"Drunks don't think that far, and it lets the neighbour know. It keeps everyone safe, and gets me help.  You weren't suppose to get that, I must have saved your number wrong into my phone."</p><p> </p><p>"I'm glad you did.  It could have been much worse." Dean said gentley.</p><p> </p><p>"I know," I said looking away. </p><p> </p><p>"Are you ready to tell us what happened, I mean why the locks?"  Sam asked touching my hand gently. </p><p> </p><p>"I had an ex who stalked me. He kidnapped me, twice.  I was held the second time for 12 days before anyone found me.  He's in jail, but you never know. I still fear he'll come back for me.  Last time he got me while I was sleeping."</p><p> </p><p>"So you lock yourself in so you feel safe at night?"  Sam asked squeezing my hand gentley. </p><p> </p><p>I nodded.  "After a few years of counselling its the only way I feel safe.  One of the deputies helped me set up the code system for Alexia and honestly I sleep like a normal person now."</p><p> </p><p>Sam and Dean both nodded, and I knew the both got it.   "Thanks for telling us."  Sam said kindly and I nodded. He picked up my phone and added his number to it, then asked if he could do another thing or two. I nodded and within 5 minutes he had also set it up so that if I send off that code it also gives my location.  Just as an extra back up. I was grateful.    </p><p> </p><p>Deans phone rang and he went to the other room to get it. </p><p> </p><p>Sam used the time to drill me about my date.  "So other then the bar how did last night go."  He said trying to change the subject.</p><p> </p><p>I smiled, "Really well."  My neck was killing me, but the thought of Dean kissing me made me smile even more.</p><p> </p><p>"He broke out the good scotch last night so I thought so."  I laughed and then grabbed my throat. That hurt. </p><p> </p><p>"Sam it's Jody, can you take this?"  He said passing his phone to Sam. </p><p> </p><p>"Looks like we are going to have to head out for a bit. We have to go help a friend.  We could be a week or two out of town." Dean said pulling his chair closer to me. Sitting a little too close. </p><p> </p><p>"K," is all I said. I had no idea what else to say. </p><p> </p><p>"Can I text you?"  He asked very bashfully. I nodded. "Can I kiss you again?"  I nodded. When he did I squeaked a little. It hurt to move my neck, and Dean turned it into a very gentle kiss, instead of what we had shared last night. </p><p> </p><p>Sam stood in the door way and I got the signal. I let them out, and was alone in my house.  Wow it had never felt empty before but something about them filling it had made it feel so much better. </p><p> </p><p>About 30 minutes later I got a text from Linda. She had taken the day off to come over and hang with me, and would be there any second.  And just like that she was there at my door. Begging for details and girling out for the rest of the day.     </p><p> </p><p>Around 11 pm I got a text.</p><p>D: Hey, just checking in.  Here and safe in South Dakota. </p><p>L: Wow you must be a really bad driver that’s like a 6 hour drive.</p><p>D: Well the scenic route</p><p>L:  I spent the day with Linda</p><p>D: Lady from the post office? She drools over Sam.</p><p>L: You too fyi</p><p>D: Really, well maybe if I was into older women</p><p>L: LOL    </p><p>D: Did you tell her I’m taken</p><p>L:  Taken, really by whom</p><p>D:  First course pie has my heart currently</p><p>L:  Makes sense.  You should update your facebook status</p><p>D: Don’t have facebook</p><p>L: I know, I tried to social stalk you, you aren’t on any platforms. </p><p>D: Nope</p><p>L: Are you being stalked by an ex too?</p><p>D: Nope just hiding from the demons, vampires, and whatever else might be other there.</p><p>L: Lol</p><p>D: Hows the neck feeling</p><p>L: Still sore, doc made a house call today cause the deputy told him about it. I was ordered to have three days of soft foods, and minimal talking. </p><p>D: Good thing I’m not there then.</p><p>L: ????</p><p>D: So you don’t have to use your mouth.</p><p>L: WTF?  Ewwwwww</p><p>D: OMG not what I meant, I meant kissing.</p><p>L: Right…..</p><p>D: Moving on.</p><p>L: Yep</p><p>D: We should be home in a week or so I will text you when we are heading back.</p><p>L: K, be safe. </p><p>D: Yep.</p><p>L: Night</p><p>D: Night Babes</p><p>L: Babes???</p><p>D: Is that ok?</p><p>L: …. (long pause)</p><p>D: Ok your killing me did I cross a line</p><p>L: Nope just terrorizing you</p><p>D: Uncool</p><p>L:  😊 </p><p>D: Night Babes…?</p><p>L: Night</p><p>D: 😊</p>
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<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Ok Its official I am really liking writing some normal life stuff.  BUT, things are going to get a bit more. I have a few really good ideas. Trying to write 1000 words a day as well.<br/>Let me know what you all think.  I would love some feedback or comments.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A few days later I got a text from Sam.</p><p> </p><p>S: Hey Lily, looks like we will be heading out and going west for a few weeks</p><p>L: Hey Sam, thanks for the heads up. Is there a reason Dean didn't tell me?</p><p>S: Well I'm actually messaging you for our friend Jody. We're doing a big dinner tonight with "family" and I wanted to invite you.</p><p>L: What is "family"?</p><p>S: Friends who become family.  Dean will be all grumpy if he knows I invited you, but we could be out of town for up to a month and I don't want him to be grumpy that he didn't invite you, so will you come?</p><p>L: K, send me the address. What time is dinner?</p><p>S: 7 pm</p><p>L: K, gotta go get ready and sort some stuff out. </p><p>S: See you in a few hours.</p><p> </p><p>I sorted out the bar and hopped on my bike.  It was a 5-hour ride, but it was an amazing day for it.  I stopped outside of town to grab a bottle of wine and whiskey and put it in my saddle bag when I heard the purr of Deans baby.  I had my full shield helmet on, and my leather jacket. He didn't recognize me, but I decided I was gonna have some fun.</p><p> </p><p>As Dean left the store, I took off behind him on my bike.  We still had a decent way to go, and I purposely cut him off more then once.  By the time we got to Jody's I let him lead. When I followed him into the driveway he jumped out.</p><p> </p><p>"What the fuck man?  Seriously who taught you how to drive like that?"  He was fuming, and frankly sexy as well.</p><p>I stop and raised my shoulders in an "I don't know" motion. </p><p>"Look do we have a problem?"</p><p>I slide my helmet off, and the look on his face was completely worth it. Watching the rage wash off, and then desire cloud his eyes, then rage again.</p><p>"What the hell are you doing here," he asked coming over to kiss me.  The way his hand threaded through my hair, pulling me into the kiss I didn't have time to react.  It had only been a week but damn it was good to see him. "Why the hell do you drive like that?"  He said between some rather steamy kisses.</p><p> </p><p>I didn't hear the door open but heard Sam's voice. "Will you two break it up and get in here."  I heard him over the slight moan rising in my throat. </p><p>"Gonna kick your ass Sammy." Dean said the smile even reaching his eyes. Sam was right, it was good for me to come.  Dean held my hand pulling me to the door.</p><p> </p><p>"She's here," I heard Sam holler as I shut the door behind me. It was a nice family home, a bit like my uncles, but bigger.  A woman with short hair smiled at Dean and then me, hugging us both. </p><p> </p><p>"Hi I'm Jody, you must be Dean's girl."  I blushed not sure how to respond.  Dean blushed too, and it was the cutest thing I had ever seen.</p><p> </p><p>"Hi Jody, I'm Lily." I smiled hugging her back and handing her both the wine and the whiskey. "Wine for the refined, whiskey for the rest of us."  She laughed and took them, leading us into the living room.  We all sat and started to talk. Deans arm was around me the whole time, and it felt nice.  The smell of sandalwood, oil, and whiskey seemed to come off Dean, and honestly, I just wanted to bury my nose in his neck and inhale.  He smelt so damn good. </p><p> </p><p>Dinner was amazing, and Jody offered for me to bunk with them for the night and head out in the morning.  "Actually, I was wondering if Sam could stay for the night." Dean said and both Jody and I raised an eyebrow. </p><p> </p><p>I spoke cutting the silence.  "Thanks Jody, I would love that."  Dean raised his eyebrow at me this time. And Jody understood.  "Sam why don't you take Baby to the motel, and I'll drive Dean there in a bit."  Sam nodded, and we prepared to head out.  We all hugged and I told Jody I’d be back in an hour max.  She smiled, and nodded, telling me she would leave light on for me. </p><p> </p><p>Sam disappeared into the night, and Dean just stood beside my bike as I pulled out a half helmet for him.  "Its gonna mess your hair up." I smiled at him tossing him the helmet and hoping on the bike.  "Get on bitch,"  I smiled at him closing the face shield.</p><p> </p><p>Dean sighed as climbed on behind me.  "Woman, you are going to be the death of me,"  He said then realizing we had intercom in the helmets.  "Oh, hey." </p><p> </p><p>"Hey there sailor. Hold on, I like to ride hard."  I giggled as at first Dean held on loosely and then as I sped up into the dark he grabbed on tight.  After about 10 minutes we started to talk.  He told me how great it was to see me, how he had to go out west for work, and how much he would miss me.  More then once I felt his hands move around my hips and I could swear that wasn't a flashlight in his pocket. </p><p> </p><p>"Dean question for you?"</p><p> </p><p>"Ask away."</p><p> </p><p>"I'm I your girl?" </p><p>The line was quiet for a moment. "Do you want to be?"</p><p> </p><p>"Kind of fast to be calling your girl after the first date don't you think?"     </p><p> </p><p>"Maybe, but I'm not seeing anyone else, and I really like you. Do you not want to be my girl?" He asked after another moment.  I pulled off into a parking of a rest stop and pulled right beside a picnic bench.  I parked and sat on the table, Dean still standing stretching his legs.</p><p> </p><p>"Here's my issue. I like you, but we don't really know each other. We have chemistry but is that enough I don't know.  I have made some really bad decisions and messed a lot of things up in my life, and I don't want to take this too fast."</p><p> </p><p>"Chemistry is a great place to start."  Dean said.</p><p> </p><p>I smiled, "You're right it is, but I have a pretty rough past that I'm not over, and I think you might have one to.  Hell, I don't even know what you do for a living."</p><p> </p><p>"I hunt bad guys." He said like it was no big deal.</p><p> </p><p>"Like a bounty hunter? I thought those were only on tv.... Mad Dog gets his man."   I said mocking the intro voice to the late night tv show I had flipped past more then once.</p><p> </p><p>"Something like that." He walked over to me and stood between my legs pulling me close.  "Look my past is just as messed up and complicated as yours, but I haven't connected with someone like this in a long time.  I'm not going to be your stay at home regular boy friend, who texts every day and sends you flowers.  But I'll be there when you need me, and that's all I can offer right now."  Our faces were so close, and I really wanted to kiss him, but kissing him made my brain foggy. </p><p> </p><p>"I don't know if that’s enough for me Dean."  I said pulling away and standing.  Dean looked at his shoes.   "My ex manipulated me to the 1000th degree, and half truths and lies were part of that.  I know there is so much more to you, and you're not ready to share that with me either.  That’s ok. But I'm not going to be intitmate with someone I don't fully know.  It clouds things.  So I think you should go on your trip and lets talk more while on your trip."</p><p> </p><p>"I hate texting."  Dean said shaking his head.</p><p> </p><p>"Well you can text me or not, but that’s your choice.  But if you are someone who travels all the time it might be our only way to really communicate." Dean still looked at his shoes.   "I like you too ok, its just I'm really careful with my heart now a days."  I was about to get back on my bike when Dean pulled me close and kissed me.  It was deep and passionate and made my brain all sorts of foggy.  I lost my breathe for a moment and couldn't see straight.  While I was resorting myself he hoped on my bike as the driver. </p><p> </p><p>"If you can drive my bike, I get to drive baby?"  I asked putting my helmet back on. </p><p> </p><p>"Our next date you can drive baby."  Dean said and I hopped on behind him.  He wobbled the bike on purpose as we drove back to the motel, wanting me to hold him tight.  I complied and loved the feeling of his muscled body close to mine.</p><p> </p><p>When we got back to the motel Dean kissed me gently again and I started off into the night back to Jody's but I was so pented up.  I wouldn't sleep for a long time. I pulled over and text Sam. </p><p> </p><p>L: Can you tell Jody I'm heading home tonight?</p><p>S: Everything ok? Dean is sulking.</p><p>L: Yep, just need to feel the air tonight. </p><p>S: K, will do. Also sending her your number in case you need help. Never a bad idea to have more sheriffs as friends.   </p><p>L:  K</p><p>S: Text when you get home k? </p><p>L: Will do. </p><p> </p><p>The ride home was long and just what I needed.   I had it so bad, and damn it Dean had so many secrets and layers to him I didn't know what the hell was going on.</p><p> </p><p>I texted Sam as I climbed into bed and finally feel to sleep only to have my alarm to go over 3 hours later to start a new day.  </p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It had been a week since I had heard from the guys. I received one text from Dean one night that just said "Checking in". I replied the next morning but didn't hear anything after that.    This whole thing made my heart sad.</p><p> </p><p>I was feeling particularly down when I decided to call a friend of mine called. </p><p> </p><p>"Hey A, how you doing?</p><p> </p><p>"I am so happy you decided to call, I was thinking about you Lil." </p><p> </p><p>"Awww thanks.  I've had a weird few weeks." I said sitting down on my back porch and telling her everything.   A and I became good friends a few years ago when we both were apart of stalking support group.  A was an amazingly strong woman who still had a codependent brother.  She loved him but he would follow her "across time and space," she use to sigh.   She always seemed to know everything that was going on, and always seemed to help me become a better person.  She once asked me if I wanted my ex turned into a frog or something, and honestly I believed she would have made it happen. </p><p> </p><p>"I'm gonna be in your area next week, can I stay with you?"  She asked, knowing the answer was yes.  </p><p> </p><p>"Is everything ok?"  I knew A pretty well, and could tell something was bothering her. </p><p> </p><p>"Its just Chuck, he has been really needy lately.  I think I might need to get away for a little while."</p><p> </p><p>"No worries. You now I have everything at my place to keep anyone else away."</p><p> </p><p>"I found some new things that worked great when I was India as well."</p><p> </p><p>"More spells and stuff," I laughed. "Wait you were in India?"  A was so into the new age stuff, but honestly it never hurt so I never judged her.   </p><p> </p><p>"Yep, learned some new yoga moves too."  I could hear her smile.</p><p> </p><p>"Alright love, I'll see you next week." </p><p> </p><p>The week flew by, and Amara was knocking on my door before I knew it.  Like always she obsessively started burning her herbs, and then painted a sigil on the inside of my doors in what she told me was crows blood.  She promised me it would wash off.  I just waited until she was done and gave her a big hug.  I have my alarms and locks, she had her herbs and sigils. </p><p> </p><p>"Hey love,"  she said pulling her 4 bags into my living room.  "I brought presents."  Of course she did.  A always had gifts. She loved watching me get excited over the small things she said. </p><p> </p><p>She brought me a few scarves from India. Brought me some new shoes and then a box of books.  "So I found those books in a used book store and I thought of you."  The Supernatural novels filled the box.  "The guy on the front with the car looks like Dean, and weird as shit the main characters are Sam and Dean." Amara said passing me one.  I raised an eyebrow suspiciously.  "Apparently they have quite a cult following."  I looked at them, feeling strangely drown to them. </p><p> </p><p>We sat down for dinner, and it felt like time just passed as next thing I knew we were out on the porch again. A was going through her yoga and I was reading.  The first book seemed to just slip through my fingers and by the third book it was too dark to keep reading.  </p><p> </p><p>"A I think we have a problem." I said finally lifting my head to re-engage. </p><p> </p><p>"What precious?"  She asked as she sat up from her never ending stretching session. </p><p> </p><p>"Sam, Dean, Baby, Winchester, tragic death of their father, hunting monsters and demons.  I think Sam and Dean are faking who they are.   Worse I think Dean might really believe it."  A never said anything until I started almost sobbing.  "How the hell do I keep attracting these serial killer losers." </p><p> </p><p>She pulled me into her arms and hugged me tight.  "Maybe, just maybe its really them." She said it so calmly that I couldn't respond at first.  "Maybe these books where like written about their adventures or something."    A had this way of saying things and just making them true in my head.</p><p> </p><p>"Ok so lets say for a minute that this isn't all crazy." A nodded at me with that comforting look she would get. "Ok so first of all lets says that my Dean and Sam are the real ones.  And these books are written about them, then are these monsters real or metaphors."</p><p> </p><p>"Honestly babes, after some of the things I've seen...."</p><p> </p><p>"Vampires, werewolves, ghosts?" </p><p> </p><p>"Ok so maybe metaphors, but I don't think Dean would lie to you."  She said as we headed into the house and she got me a big glass of wine. </p><p> </p><p>"How do you know?"  I asked taking a giant sip.</p><p> </p><p>"Trust me on this one." A said, and I leaned back against her as the sun started to  rise. </p><p> </p><p>"Shit I have work in a few hours..." I giggled.</p><p> </p><p>"Nope I called your team hours a go and told them you were taking the next few days off with me."</p><p> </p><p>I couldn't stop giggling now.  Another hour or two and Amara had me tipsy as we giggling about some of her funny stories from India.  I fell asleep on the couch listening to her, like we always seemed to.  With Amara I was safe, and she with me.  I woke the next morning and A was gone.  She left me a note.  Told me she heard Chuck was in the state and had to go.  I had a giant hangover, and my neck was killing me. I vaguely remember A painting me with her crows blood as a protection spell she said, it binded us together across any realities our lives might take us.  When I looked in the mirror I had a nice raised rash just under my hair line.  It looked like a colon and a seven.  Fuck, must be an allergic reaction or something, I thought as I bandaged it and put a big Band-Aid on it for the day.  </p><p> </p><p>I text Dean next.</p><p> </p><p>L to D &amp; S: So you are never going to believe what I just found</p><p>S: What's that?</p><p>I sent him a photo of the set of books on my shelf.   It was hours before I decided to text again.</p><p>L to D&amp;S: So what I want to know is was this written about you guys, or did you guys copy these books?</p><p>S: Written about us.</p><p>L to D&amp;S:  I think we need to talk when you get back</p><p>S: I can do that. </p><p>L to D&amp;S:  I am not dating both of the Winchesters here.  Dean you best be the first face I see or I will hunt you down. </p><p>S: Dean is driving but says he promises.  </p>
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<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>D: Morning Babes</p><p>L:  Its 11 am, and its been almost 4 weeks are you really going to call me Babes</p><p>D: Ooooo. So your pissed with me.  I told you we would be gone for a bit.</p><p>L: Hell no. That's not going to work for me. </p><p>D: I'm not sure why your so upset</p><p>L: You haven't texted me once.</p><p>D: Been Busy</p><p>L: Sam could</p><p>D: I've been doing most of the driving</p><p>L: And you never stop for the night ever?</p><p>D: Not as long as I would like. Its been a busy trip.  Why are you so mad at me?</p><p>L:  Do you and your brother ever talk?  Fuck you two.</p><p> </p><p>Incoming Call: Dean</p><p> </p><p>L: I read your "Supernatural books." All of them.    </p><p> </p><p>Incoming Call: Dean</p><p> </p><p>L: Is this real?  I'm I losing my mind for considering this to be true?</p><p> </p><p>Incoming Call: Dean</p><p> </p><p>L: I am not picking up Dean, take a hint. </p><p>D: Why the hell not?</p><p>L: Because I'm not going to let you manipulate me with your words.  Either you text me back or I'll see you when you get home. </p><p> </p><p>He never texted me back and I headed into the bar to work even through I had the night off. I was too pissed off just to sit at home stewing. I had another brawl at the bar that night. However even the bikers where impressed how I dealt with it.   When one man grabbed at me I hit him with a mug up the side of the head.  When the next guy tried to start something I fearlessly pulled out the shot gun, and when someone tried to take it from me I hit him with the butt of the gun. Never in my life have I been so ballsey. I was giggling a little in my head that maybe reading that series gave me some confidence. A always said I needed to get over some of my "lamb" tendencies.</p><p> </p><p>Johnny made more then one comment that I seemed to have found my legs. I was more confident, more outgoing.  I didn't now exactly what to say, but I felt braver, stronger, and honestly more alive. I felt like my life had been turned up to 11. It was an amazing feeling, I had been living in fear so long I didn't even realize that it was the fear that was gone.  Even the thought of Dean being an actual monster hunter seemed not so insane. </p><p> </p><p>I heard the Impala before I saw them.  When they came in it was like I felt their presence. I kept working. I refused to acknowledge them. When Dean ordered a drink I pretended I didn't know him.  I got him his drink, and then just to piss him off I started to fake hit on Sam.  Sam picked up pretty fast but Dean he was slow to the game.</p><p> </p><p>"Hey handsome what are you doing after? " I asked Sam pouring him another drink.</p><p> </p><p>"Well I was thinking about taking you home, maybe getting to know you better."  Sam said in this cheesey alpha voice.</p><p>    </p><p>"Funny thing about that, its like I kind of know you better already, have we been liked texting for the last few weeks while you were gone?" I said leaning my cleavage over the bar.</p><p> </p><p>"Yes ma'me we have." Sam said taking another shot.  "I know your favorite colour is blue, you like rock, and you hate pie."</p><p> </p><p>I couldn't help but giggle at the look on Deans face.    "Pie is so gross."  I said topping up a few others last call drinks. </p><p> </p><p>"So sugar darling, can I take you home?"  Sam asked enjoying the looks from Dean as much as I was.</p><p> </p><p>"I don't know, didn't you name your car sugar or darling or anything like that do you? I'd hate for my pet name to get mixed up in the middle of things." </p><p>"Oh you'll know sugar."  Sam finished his drink.  "It will be my car's name."   We both burst into laughter as I finished ringing out the last few bikers and regulars and officially closed up shop.  Just Sam, Dean and I remained and I poured myself a drink and I pulled up a stool on my side of the bar.  Dean was in a mood and frankly I didn't give a damn.</p><p> </p><p>"So which one of you is going to tell me about those books?" I said as I started to nurse my whiskey.   It was late but this conversation was not going to wait any longer.</p><p> </p><p>"So were hunters."  Sam start and I lifted up my hand.</p><p> </p><p>"I read the books, but here is where I am stuck.  Are you telling me that monsters are real, or is it like an allegory or imagery for everything you guys have gone through?"    </p><p> </p><p>Both guys didn't say anything and I took another shot, "So your telling me these book are real? Who the hell wrote them all down?"  I asked trying to be calm, not to loose my cool.</p><p> </p><p>"God did." Sam said running his hand through his hair.</p><p> </p><p>We sat in silence for a few minutes time just seemed to slow.</p><p> </p><p>Dean broke the silence, "You want the full truth?" His eyes seemed to drill into mine.  I nodded, I had nothing else I could say.</p><p> </p><p>Dean looked up and with sad eyes finishing his story. "We lost a lot of friends, God fucked with us a bit, I lost my soul for a while, got it back, Lucifer had a child. Watched more friends die. Now I live in a underground bunker with my brother, a half angel, and a grumpy angel. So that's my story."  He said and he motioned for another refill on his drink.</p><p> </p><p>I refilled their drinks and we sat for another 5 to 10 minutes in the quiet.  I pulled out some whisky from the back shelf and poured myself a drink.  Then refilled the boys again.  "So angel's, demons, vampires and God are all real?" </p><p> </p><p>Sam nodded, "He goes by the name Chuck as well if you can believe that."  I just nodded and said nothing.  I mean what do you say when you have two men sitting in front of you telling you that God is real.   We sat for another few minutes in the quiet and I finally stood. </p><p> </p><p>"I need to go to bed."  The guys nodded and I locked up and Dean walked me home.  He followed me in, locking the door behind him.  He was wordless as I set the alarm and we went up stairs.  I went into the bathroom to get ready for bed and I heard the impala drive away.  I climbed into bed in an oversized jammie shirt and shorts, Dean climbed in behind me in his shirt and boxers.  We didn't say anything as he pulled my back close to him snuggling me.  I slowly turned over and placed my head on his chest as we fell asleep. </p>
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<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>I didn't wake up screaming that night, or wake up in a panic.  Instead I woke up wrapped in Deans arm's.  He was warm and comforting. Like he could hold the whole new scary world away.  He smelled wonderful, his fingers absentmindedly rubbing on my back.   I listened to his heart beat and then to his breathing.  I was warm and this felt like the perfect moment.  I was just enjoying the moment when Dean's breathing changes.   I could tell he was awake and now he was doing the same thing, just enjoying the sounds, smells, and feeling of me with him. </p><p> </p><p>"Time to wake up I think," I said in a low voice.</p><p> </p><p>"No babes, stay here with me," his voice was so low and so gravelly I couldn't help but we pulled back into his warmth.  When I opened my eyes again it was 10:30 Dean had pulled me back into this warmth and it felt good.  I started to stir and he did as well. We both got up and while I was in the bathroom he dressed and then I did the same. </p><p>    </p><p>I pulled out a quiche from my freezer and set it to bake for breakfast.  Dean did his thing, and went on and on about now there was breakfast pie.  I smiled and then sat back at the table.   "Dean I don't know if I can believe everything you've told me." </p><p> </p><p>"I know. Most people don't believe us until they've gone through something unexplainable.  Then it makes sense. Once you've seen a vampire or demon up close you just know."  Dean's tone was different this morning.  I could tell it was like he was finally being truthful with me.  It was refreshing and terrifying at the same time. </p><p> </p><p>"Well I don't exactly want to come face to face with any of that." I said taking deep sips of my coffee. I had been trying to caffeinate away the slight hangover I had. </p><p> </p><p>Dean took my coffee out of my hands and set it on the table, when I went to try and reach for it he put his hands on mine and shook his head.  "You ready?"  He said kindly, quietly.</p><p> </p><p>"For?"  I was so confused what he was asking.</p><p> </p><p>"Cas?"</p><p> </p><p>I heard bird wings and then he was there.  A tall man in a brown trench coat appeared.  I screamed, he came out of no where. I squeezed Dean's hand so tight he shouted.  "Damn it Cas." Dean said at a reaction to my squeezing his hand.  I slowly let go of Dean's hand and stood. </p><p> </p><p>I stayed far away, unsure how to fully understand what I was seeing and what had happened here.  Without thought I pulled out another mug for coffee and set it down on the table for Cas to sit and join us.   But I didn't rejoin them, I just stood in the far side of my kitchen unsure.  </p><p> </p><p>"Hello. My name is Castiel I am an angel of the Lord."  Cas sat and picked up the coffee and began drinking.   I just watched him, unsure of what to do. You have nothing to fear.  Dean took my hand and held it for a few moments and then pulled me closer.  We stood and sat in silence and then he pulled me closer, and then finally Dean slipped me back into my chair, his hand resting on my thigh.   It felt both comforting and there as a reassurance that this was all real, and this was really happening. </p><p> </p><p>"So Cas, I understand that you and Dean are friends." I finally spoke in a quiet voice.</p><p> </p><p>"Yes," he said with a deep voice as he looked me over.   </p><p> </p><p>I looked down at my coffee pulling it close to me and taking a big drink. </p><p> </p><p>"Cas come on, be nice," Dean said shoving another fork full of food in his mouth.</p><p> </p><p>"I don't understand why you called me here?"  Cas said drinking more coffee, but looking at it with distrain.</p><p> </p><p>"Because Lily needed to know it not all bull shit, and I kind of wanted you two to met." </p><p> </p><p>"I've never met any of the other women you've slept with before." Cas said not even realizing how hurtful that he sounds.</p><p> </p><p>"We didn't sleep together. I mean we did, but we didn't have sex." Dean said sounding so awkward.</p><p> </p><p>"Why?"  Cas asked, not even acknowledging my presence anymore.  </p><p> </p><p>"Because she runs a bar," Dean seemed to stumble in his answer, "..... and makes me pie...." I looked up at him with questions across my face. "...and texts me to check in on me.  No one else has ever done that." </p><p> </p><p>"I come see you when I need to check in."  It was almost as if Cas was jealous.</p><p> </p><p>"You're my friend, but she is.... She is sassy and funny, and crazy smart in business. And frankly I really want to get to know her better before we sleep together, cause I don't wanna mess this up."  He said the last part like he was almost embarrassed and spewed it all out in one breath. It was my turn to give him comfort and I put my hand on top of his and squeezed it. </p><p> </p><p>Cas seemed to accept this answer, and he noticed me caring for what Dean was both saying and not saying. It seemed to get his seal of approval.  "Well Lily, I'm Castiel, it is nice to meet you." He said standing giving me his hand to shake.</p><p> </p><p>I smiled and stood, "Hello Castiel it is nice to meet you.  Would you like more coffee?"  I said after shaking his awkwardly held out hand. </p><p> </p><p>"I don't sleep or eat." He said sitting back down, but then took another sip of the coffee, giving it an look of distain again. </p><p> </p><p>I smile and then we slowly started talking. It was almost two hours later when I got a knock on my door, and Dean watched as I froze and opened my phone seeing who was at the door via camera.  I tapped a button for intercom. "Hello, how my I help you?"  I asked two middle aged men in button shirts and jeans. One held up a badge, "Ma'me, my name is Scott Anthony, I'm with the US Marshalls, we need to speak with you about James Vimes."</p><p> </p><p>I froze and stood.  "I'll be right there."  I turned off my phone. </p><p> </p><p>"Cas you should go, Dean will you stay with me?"  He nodded.   "I guess its time for you to find out about my demons in my closet." I took his hand and we went to the front door as Castiel did his thing.  When I opened the door I felt Dean tense as I lead both the Marshalls over to table at the front porch.</p><p> </p><p>"Ma'me you are on a list to advise should James Vimes be released from prison or escape.  He was on his way to a parole hearing and the transport was hijacked. We don't believe James was the intended target, but during the matter that ensued he has escaped police custody."  I held up my finger and went into the house coming back out with a bundle of unopened letters in a shoe box. </p><p> </p><p>"These are all of the letters he has sent me.  The prison isn't suppose to let him send me anything, but they come just like clockwork the first of every month."  Dean seems disturbed by this all, and I felt bad for him. Then remembered the bomb he just dropped on me and felt like maybe we were even. </p><p> </p><p>"Ma'me do you have any idea where he would be going?" </p><p> </p><p>I nodded squeezing Dean's hand.  "He'll be coming here. I moved over a dozen times and within a month or two his letters would always start coming.  This time it lasted 4 months before his first letter came." Both Marshalls nodded.   "I'm not running any more officers. So you do what you need to do, but this is my home, and I'm done letting James terrorize me."</p><p> </p><p>"Ma'me while I understand your sentiment I don't think that is a good idea.  We would like to have you go stay with some friends or family. However have an officer come live here for a few weeks and see if we can't draw him out." </p><p> </p><p>"She can stay with me and my brother." Dean said hold my hand tightly and I nodded my appreciation. </p><p> </p><p>"Have you read the full file, or just the file you got from New York?"  I asked taking a breath. </p><p> </p><p>Both officers took a deep breath, and I pulled out a file folder from under the box.  I looked at Dean, "Just remember I make really good pie." I said trying to smile as I opened the file.    Half of it was redacted like it was a secret service file, and then underneath that a copy of the same document that was not redacted.  There were pictures as well. My neck covered in bruises, my wrists bloody and bruised, my back and stomach covered in what liked like tiny scalpel cuts.    "James's family is well connected, and it took the FBI to have him put away. Even that was only for 20 years. I knew he would get out in 10 or less. James believes that I am his soul mate, that there is no one else in the world for him but me.  The first time he kidnapped me I was his victim. One of many women he kidnapped, raped, tortured and then killed.   The FBI could never get evidence that it was him beyond hear say of what I told them, of what he told me.  He had lost count at 30, and the police were only able to find 18 body's."</p><p> </p><p>"Holy shit," Dean whispered.  I squeezed his hand and turned to him. </p><p> </p><p>"Not all of us go to hell, but we get damn close." I said quietly to Dean, and then turned back to the Marshalls. "I got into his head when he was torturing me.  I stopped begging." </p><p> </p><p>"How did you get into his head? "  The one Marshall asked with a look in his eyes that told me he didn't really want to know but he had to know.</p><p> </p><p>"My brother Ethan was really into BDSM. He was big on education.  When I hit college he took me to a club so I could see that his lifestyle wasn't what I thought it was.  Ethan taught me all the sick twisted shit people thought BDSB was it really wasn't.  However for James it was exactly that.  James wanted a slave, a sub who was into all the sick shit he was, and I went there for a few hours. When he had his back turned I strangled him with my bonds. I thought he was dead and I ran.  I went to the police and everything went no where.  That time I was held for 3 days."  I paused, regaining my thoughts, and giving the Marshalls time to write everything down.  Dean just listened and I was so worried I would lose him over this but I had to keep going. </p><p> </p><p>"James stalked me for two years, until one night he cornered Ethan and I in an alley.  Ethan tried to protect me, and James killed him. This time I fought James for a few days, but he was so determined I was his soul mate he refused to give up. I begged him to kill me. But instead he said that he would break me. That time it lasted for 12 days"</p><p> </p><p>"How did you get alive?"  Dean asked this time.   His voice was so sad for me it hurt my heart. </p><p> </p><p>"I didn't. James cut me too deep and couldn't stop the bleeding, but didn't want his favorite pet to die. He dropped me off at a hospital expecting just to pick me up in a few days.  But by then the scalpel killer was everywhere in the media, and I his loan survivor.  I was untouchable for about a year. I got my life back together, and even went to James hearing where he was charged with a bunch of things that were only the tip of the iceberg." </p><p> </p><p>"So James Vimes is the Scalpel Killer?"  The Marshal confirmed.   </p><p> </p><p>"Not that you can prove in the court of law, but yes. And if you can prove it his families have ways to make evidence or people disappear."</p><p> </p><p>There was a long silence as the Marshalls looked through the file and discussed small things to each other.  "Can I keep this?"  He asked.  </p><p> </p><p>"Yes. I have copies.  Look I'll let you use my house and try and trap him. But that officer in my house needs to know that if she is caught not to be me she will die if he gets into that house."  Both nodded, and then stood having heard enough.  </p><p> </p><p>"Go with your boyfriend, we'll call you in a week with a plan. I promise you we won't let this man hurt you anymore."  I nodded and thanked them for their time.   I didn't believe a word they said.  I wondered if it was time to move again.  Dean insisted on staying with me as I packed. </p><p> </p><p>I had to call A and tell her what was going on.  Dean sat on the bed as I did. </p><p> </p><p>"Hey gorgeous," she said picking up the phone.  </p><p> </p><p>"Hey yourself." I said trying to sound ok.</p><p> </p><p>"What's up, I know that sound, is Dean being a dick again?"  She giggled.  </p><p> </p><p>"No, nothing like that.  Well first beef of the day, your damn henna tattoo as permanently stained my neck." </p><p> </p><p>"Sorry..." She said not sounding sorry at all.  "There's more, out with it or I will fly back there right now." </p><p> </p><p>"He got out." I said quieter then I meant to, and the look that crossed Deans face hurt my heart. </p><p> </p><p>"You ok?" A asked with concern. </p><p> </p><p>"I think so. I'm gonna go stay with Dean and his brother. They have some roommates that are kindof interesting so this could be a disaster."</p><p> </p><p>A laughed, "It sounds like a porn movie I just saw. Threesomes, foursomes all of the somes."</p><p> </p><p>"Ewww nooooo...." I said giggling now too. </p><p> </p><p>"K well you call me tonight once you get settled ok."</p><p> </p><p>"K."</p><p> </p><p>"Love you my little human." A said giggling.</p><p> </p><p>"Love you too A."  And with that I hung up and packed my life into the back of the Impala.  Dean was pissed that I insisted on taking my bike, but when I said I wasn't leaving my baby behind he got it.  I called him in my headset so he could direct me as we drove.  As I watched my house fade away I could hear Dean say quietly, "Don't worry babes, I won't let that man hurt you again." And for some reason I believed it. </p>
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<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>We were driving for about 20 minutes when I saw it. A motorcycle had been following us for the last few turned.</p><p> </p><p>"Dean I think we're being followed." I said over the cell.   Gearing up, I sped up closing the distance between us.</p><p> </p><p>"Yes for the last 5 miles, I've been driving the wrong way for at least 3.  I want you to pass me, and then just keep heading north, I want to see if they are following me or you."  Dean spoke and I could hear him grinding his teeth. </p><p> </p><p>I sped up and passed him, a snicker about my ass in leather as I did.  I drove fast but careful and within a mile or two it was clear they were following me. </p><p> </p><p>"Red Honda licence 4RZ2H to you know it?  Full shield couldn't see a face but definitely male." </p><p> </p><p>"No, how do I lose him?"  I asked trying not to panic. </p><p> </p><p>"We're gonna go 20 miles on this road then turn right, its away from any towns just farms.  I'm gonna hang back a little to see if he follows."</p><p> </p><p>"K," was all I could say.  About 18 miles later Dean told me to pull a hard right out to a side road when it was clear and I did.  Within a minute or two the motorcycle was on my trail. This time definitely following me.  "Dean..." my voice was starting to sound unsure.</p><p> </p><p>"I know babes.  Do you know how to safely slide out?"</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah I took a safety course when I started riding. Its a bit of a stunt trick.  Its going to fuck my bike up."</p><p> </p><p>"I know babes, but if its him it might be our only option."</p><p> </p><p>"Fuck Dean."</p><p> </p><p>"I know, we're gonna go another 10 miles once you pass the red  abandoned farm your gonna let him ride beside you.  If its James I want you to slide out and make sure you take him with you."</p><p> </p><p>"You sure?"  I asked unsure.</p><p> </p><p>"Yes, Cas is here, we got you.  The key is to take his bike out with yours.  Well pull up grab you and get out of there in 30 seconds after."</p><p> </p><p>"K," I said sounding very unsure. </p><p> </p><p>"Babes I'm sorry your going to have to make sure its him."  Dean said with anger in his voice.</p><p> </p><p>"I know, here it goes. Its going to get loud putting up my face shield." I slowed and put up my shield. Slowing I paralleled with the biker.   He fell in with me, and did the same.   It was him, and my heart stopped.  He smiled at me like he won a prize and pointed for me to pull off at the next road.  I shook my head no, and his eyes turned black as he yelled now in a voice that seemed to shake inside my chest.  The red barn whizzed past and I did it.  But nothing went the way I wanted to. </p><p> </p><p>I caused my bike to drift into James's bike.  He went up and over the front of his  as it slammed into mine. And instead of a nice slide on my ass I was thrown to the ground hard in front of the bikes. My gear protected me to the point, but I felt my arm snap when a bike crashed down on it.  And I felt the blood rush out of my ear when my head hit the ground.  I was going way too fast for this.  James was thrown almost 15 feet in front of me, and both bikes collided with him still going top speed.  When I stopped rolling Dean had already stopped and was running toward me laying on the ground.  He picked me up in his arms and carried my back to the Impala. </p><p> </p><p>James was on the ground one bike on his leg, his neck and arms were at an unnatural angle.  "Cas, cas.... " I heard Dean yell as I looked back... I watched in horror as James stood up.  I watched his arm go from out of place twisted and be popped back into place. I watched his leg be pulled from the wreckage mangled, and I watched as the bone seemed to snap back into place and the blood disappear as he stood on it.  But none of this was a horrifying as the smile on his face.   Dean passed me to Cas, like a rag doll as he pulled out a gun from his back. As Cas carried me into the car I watched as James took 3 in the chest and two in the head. He went down and Dean began backing away.   As Dean turned the Impala around and we started to drive away I made the mistake of looking back, and watched as James sat up and waved good by at me. </p><p> </p><p>"Fuck your ex is the mother fucking terminator."  Dean said as he drove away at top speed. I felt my heart race, blood continue to rush to my head. </p><p> </p><p>"Sleep," Cas said as I passed out as he touched my forehead.  </p><p> </p><p>I didn't dream, not really.  I relived memories. Happy ones, sad ones, and horrifying ones.    When I woke I was laying on a wood table in the middle of a large room I could only assume was a library of some sort.  Cas helped me sit up. </p><p> </p><p>"I have healed your concussion and your broken arm."  My head felt cloudy so I wasn't sure how that was possible, but when I went to move and there was no pain I knew he was telling the truth.   "Dean and Sam wanted to be with you, but they are only human, I keep having to remind them. They require sleep." I nodded feeling very unsure of everything.  " I was able to heal all of your wounds from today, but I wanted to ask you about your scars."  My hand crossed my stomach without thinking.  Presents from James.  "I can heal them, but I have found humans to be very sentimental over scars so I wanted to ask first."</p><p> </p><p>"You can heal them?"  I almost started to weep. I couldn't help myself. James had scarred my stomach so badly I didn't have a full bodied mirror upstairs, just in my front hall.  James had scarred my stomach so badly I never let anyone see my stomach, not even A.  It took me a moment to compose myself and then I nodded at Cas. </p><p> </p><p>"Lay down," as I did he slowly lifted my shirt up so he could place his hands on my stomach. It didn't hurt per-say but it didn't not hurt either.  I felt them leave, it was incredible. And when Cas was done I had no words I just hugged him.  The tears flowed and he just hugged me gently back Dean walked in the room and cleared his throat.</p><p> </p><p>"Everything ok?"  He asked looking up from his phone with a worried look.</p><p> </p><p>"I think it might be," I said trying to stop the tears. </p>
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<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I called A, it was the first thing I could think of.  I needed to make sure she knew what was going on. What I was going through, what happened with Cas even. How the hell was I going to tell her that. And then there was the fact that the two extra rooms in the bunker was full of storage and my only real option was to share a room.  Honestly that was almost as big as James in my mind. It was so stupid, and I was freaking out.</p><p> </p><p>"A I wish you where here with me," was the first words out of my mouth on our call.</p><p> </p><p>"I know babes, its going to be ok.  You're ok right?  Dean taking care of you?"  I proceeded to tell her almost everything. Leaving all of the supernatural aspects out.  A broke the long silence. "Lily there is a lot of things I haven't told you about." </p><p> </p><p>"I know," I said with a big sigh.  I always knew there were things about her life she didn’t tell me.</p><p> </p><p>"You don't know, but that's ok.  Just know that I know all about angels and demons and all the things your Winchesters have gotten up to."</p><p> </p><p>"How the hell?"  I couldn't breathe for a moment. </p><p> </p><p>"That's not important," and suddenly it wasn't important. Like a switch went off in my brain making all of it not a big deal.  "Just know that I love you, and that I will always be here for you.  I'm going away for a bit, but my cell will always work for you." </p><p> </p><p>"K. I love you too A.  You always know things, things no one should know.” A was silent which was a confirmation to me.</p><p> </p><p>"I can't tell you things."  A said on the other line her voice was tense. </p><p> </p><p>"A, is he going to kill me?"</p><p> </p><p>"No, I can promise you that.  Stay with Dean he will protect you." </p><p> </p><p>"A..." my voice trailed off and I get a little scared.</p><p> </p><p>"I'm sorry little one. I can't. Just know that even if I'm not there I'll protect you.  You are my tether to the real world.   I'll talk to you later." And with that she hung up the phone.  And I was left feeling very alone, like she had just gone miles and miles away and I was here to face it all on my own. </p><p> </p><p>I leaned again the wall as I sat down on the ground and cried. I hadn't cried in so long, and when Cas walked in on me he didn't say anything. He just stood in front of me with his hand out to help me up.  "I can't heal this kind of pain, but I am a very good listener."  I nodded and let him help me up. </p><p>We talked, I don't know where Sam and Dean where but I next thing I knew I was in the kitchen and baking cookies.  Baking always made me feel better. </p><p> </p><p>"So your friend A, she is always like that? Knowing thing’s no moral would know?  Cas asked.</p><p> </p><p>"A always jokes that she is the Alpha, the first so being the first of the alphabet makes sense too. Her name is actually Amara, its Samarian for…." </p><p> </p><p>"The darkness?"  Cas asked seeming really concerned.</p><p> </p><p>"How did you know?"  This whole thing was creeping me out.</p><p> </p><p>"You shouldn't tell Sam and Dean about this." Cas said very seriously.</p><p> </p><p>"Why?" I almost started crying again.</p><p> </p><p>"Amara is very powerful. If she is your friend then we need her to stay that way.  Sam and Dean tend to react on emotion. Let me think on this."</p><p> </p><p>"Castiel I don't like this."</p><p> </p><p>"I understand, but the boys both need to focus on James right now.  And your friendship will cloud the issue. I promise that after we have eliminated him we will tell Dean together. Is that acceptable?"</p><p> </p><p>I nodded just as Dean came in.</p><p> </p><p>"You've been here for a few hours and already baking?"  Dean said smiling leaning on the table waiting for the cookies to be done. </p><p> </p><p>"I bake to settle my nerves." I said as the buzzer dinged and I pulled out a batch of cookies.</p><p> </p><p>I left them on the cooling rack as I sat down at the small table.  A teenaged boy came in across from me at the table. He smiled, and I couldn't help but smile despite the feelings running through my head. </p><p> </p><p>"Hi, I'm Jack." He said with a look on his face that made me feel just a little bit more at ease.</p><p> </p><p>"Hi Jack, I'm Lily."</p><p> </p><p>"Oh. You're the girl Dean has been muttering about in his sleep."</p><p> </p><p>"Jack....." Dean whined smacking him upside the head.</p><p> </p><p>"But its true."  Jack didn't understand.</p><p> </p><p>"Jack are you the half angel Dean mentioned?"</p><p> </p><p>"Well that's what Dean calls me, I'm a Nephilim."</p><p> </p><p>"What's that?"  I asked making a plate of cookies and setting it down on the table.  </p><p> </p><p>"Its something more powerful then an angel."  Dean cut Jack off from finishing. </p><p> </p><p>"Do you eat cookies?"  I smiled at Jack avoiding the topic I was clearly supposed to avoid. </p><p> </p><p>"I've never had someone bake me cookies before?" Jack said reaching for one.</p><p> </p><p>"Oh then hold up," I laughed getting Jack as I grabbed a glass of milk for both of us.  "You have to dunk them, its a human tradition." Dean smiled as we ate the cookies and milk, as we talked about everything and anything. </p><p> </p><p>Jack decided he would show me around the bunker and it was nice, as far as bunkers go.  Jack filled me in a lot about what the Winchesters have been doing the last few years. I tried to be brave, not to be scared, but Jack talked about so many things that I couldn't help but feel the fear rising in my chest. </p><p> </p><p>"Jack I'm getting really tired do you think we could find Dean, I'm a little turned around."</p><p> </p><p>"Mmmmmm...." Jack was hesitant.</p><p> </p><p>"You're suppose to be distracting me aren't you?"   Jack might be super powerful but he wasn't great a lying.</p><p> </p><p>I started to walk down the hall and followed my way to the sound of voices. </p><p> </p><p>"I'm not asking her that." Dean shouted loudly. </p><p> </p><p>I walked in just as Castiel was explaining why it was so important they know. </p><p> </p><p>"Ask me what?"  everyone was quiet and turned to me.</p><p> </p><p>"We need some details about what James did to you." Castiel said very matter of fact.</p><p> </p><p>I nodded.   "Not tonight." I said the wear of the day showing on my face.  "Can someone show me to where I'm sleeping?" </p><p> </p><p>"Yeah," Dean stood and led me down the hall, his way of avoid this conversation.  "You can have my room, I'm gonna crash on the couch in Cas's room. He doesn't sleep anyways." I nodded as Dean dropped me off at the room and I got ready for bed.  </p><p> </p><p>I threw on an old shirt of Deans as PJ's and tried to sleep. It was a few hours later and kept starring at the ceiling.  Every noise made me jump.  The clock read 3 am and I could hear the low din of a tv down the hall.  I wandered towards the sound and found Dean sleeping on the couch watching TV, tossing in his sleep in his boxers. "Dean, come to bed."  I said taking his hand.  His eyes looked sleepily up at me, and then at my very short pjs. "Come on," Dean slowly climbed off the couch holding my hand as we went back to bed together. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I woke up with his heat all over my body. He was snuggled in behind me, pulling me close to him. His arms were wrapped around me, and even his leg encased me slightly.  It was hot but when I went to move I felt him pull me closer against my ass.  I felt safe which was a new experience.</p><p> </p><p>It was an hour or two later when I woke to the sound of him whispering in my ear. "Time to wake up," he said sweetly.  His morning voice was deeper then normal as it rumbled through his chest and against my back.  His lips nibbled gently on my ear.  "How did I end up in here?"  He asked as he kissed behind my ear and down my neck and to my shoulder. I moaned a little because it felt so good. And I didn't move when his hand moved slightly across my chest, slipping in through the stretched neck of the shirt. Taking my breast into the palm of his hand and then massaging it gently. Then moving to play with my nipple between his fingers.  I bite my lip as it became a hard little peak.</p><p> </p><p>The little moan escaped without thought.  And the small chuckle that followed with it was undeniable.  When I pushed back against him again he kissed down my neck more.  Nipping as he did on my shoulder. "Its time to get up babes."  I wanted nothing more then to flip over and ride him till the world crashed down but I knew there was a lot to do still.  Dean felt my hesitation.  "Shhh not this morning." he said trying to not pressure me.</p><p> </p><p>"Its not that," I whispered.</p><p> </p><p>Dean leaned up on his elbow, rolling me ot my back and looking down at me.  Gently he brushed the hair out of my face and behind my ear. It was so gentle and the look on is face didn't help anything I was feeling.   A shy smile crossed my lips.  "What is it?" His eyes searched my face. </p><p> </p><p>"Kind of the opposite," I smiled shyly.  I said touching his face. He turned into it, kissing my hand.</p><p> </p><p>"I promise when this is all over," he said as he kissed me gently.  "Time to get up," he said sliding out of bed.  His bulge so clear in his shorts I couldn't not look at it.  Dean caught me looking at it. "Babes if you keep looking at me like that its going to be a long day." He smiled his toothy grin as he slipped on pants and a t-shirt. He looked so amazing it was hard not to stare. </p><p> </p><p>I made a show of standing up an stretching tall. Then it was his turn to stare as I slipped off my panties and oversized shirt. Standing naked in front of him with my back turned looking through my backpack on the floor. Bending over more then once just to give him a show.  I could feel his eyes on my body, and then I slipped new panties and bra on.  As I slipped a pair of tight jeans on I heard him moan just a little.</p><p> </p><p>I pulled a tank top over top and as I pulled on some slip on shoes I looked up through my lashes at Dean.  The look on his face was that he was going to devour me.  I smiled at him, "Ok lets do this."</p><p> </p><p>As I went to the door he took my hand and turned me around, pinning me to the door.  His kiss was hard and deep and hungry.  He bit my lip gently as he pulled away.  "Remember this." He said pulling me against his body as he opened the door and guided me through with his hand on my ass.   He led me to the kitchen and as I said nothing he brought me some coffee and some food.  He joined me as we sat quietly at the table eating. </p><p> </p><p>"We have to talk about everything today, don't we?"  I said finishing my coffee.</p><p> </p><p>"Yea.. Unfortunately."  Dean said not making eye contact.  </p><p> </p><p>"I'm not talking to you about it though."  Dean looked up from his food with confusion in his eyes.  </p><p> </p><p>"I want you to kiss me more, I want you to still look at me like you did this morning.  So I'll talk to Castiel or Sam, but not you."  Deans face was full of confusion as I finished my breakfast pushing the plate away.  "Dean you know the basics, and that's all you need to know. Its too much already."  Dean nodded kind of understanding, but not really at the same time.   </p><p> </p><p>As if on queue Castiel walked in.  "We need some answers regarding James. Sam was up all night but we can't find any reason why he was able to survive both the accident and the shots to the head.  Demons don't normally heal that fast."  Castiel didn't even realize what had been going on already.    He had no sense of reading the room.   I stood almost abruptly.  "Let's go for a walk Castiel."  He nodded as he led the way.   "Castiel do you think we could go somewhere private?"  Without a warning we were in the middle of a forest on a path leading to a small stream up ahead. Castiel seemed confused. He looked around like this wasn't where he wanted to go, like he was a little lost. </p><p> </p><p>He settled after a few moments and we started walking, but I could tell he was a little on edge.  After a weird moment or two he calmed and turned to me.  "Does James have any tattoos or marks?"</p><p> </p><p>"Castiel I don't understand how this is all possible?" </p><p> </p><p>"A demon has to possess a body to take control.  It can make a person very strong but ultimately its the demon in control. That is why I'm asking."  We walked a few steps down the path to the creek. It was peaceful.  "Did he ever do any rituals to you, spells, charms anything like that? It's odd that he can keep finding you.  How sexually initmate where you? Does he have any patterns?"</p><p> </p><p>I found a log beside the stream and sat quickly for a few moments thinking about everything. Castiel peppered me with questions.  "James likes pain, he likes to inflict it. But more then that he wants a soul mate. Someone that likes it just as much as he does.  He wanted me to give myself willingly to him.  He had a twisted sense of a BDSM relationship and thought I should willingly take anything he would give."  I looked at the water moving past.  "James was my first long term relationship.  When we started dating that first year or so he was amazing.  He was from a rich family, he was a bit obsessive but I just took it as protective.  I went to college a few years late and it wasn't till I started having male students in my study groups did his other side come out.  He kidnapped me the first time because in his mind it was the only way to keep me safe from myself."  I sat and listened for a while. I heard something down the stream move, but then I watched as a deer came out, took a drink and then ran off.</p><p>"James was put away in rehab by his family after that. I didn't see him for almost 2 years.  But he was released and almost immediately he started stalking me."  I looked up at Castiel and saw the worry in his face as he listened.  "I had just started dating a new men, he was nice.   James killed him in my apartment, brutally.  He had changed. He was cruel now, and he was violent.  He hurt me in ways I may never get over."  I took a deep breathe.  </p><p> </p><p>"The scars?"  Castiel asked now standing while listening. </p><p> </p><p>I nodded. "Thats when he had a brand on his shoulder. Its like a circle and a pentagram. He got it somewhere between the first and the second time he... we...the second time he took me." I almost started crying but kept breathing deep. </p><p> </p><p>Castiels hand rested on my sholder for a moment and then picking up a stick and he drew asymbol in the dirt.  "Is this the symbol? Are you sure?" </p><p> </p><p>I nodded.  The look on Cas's face told me something was wrong. "What does it mean?"</p><p> </p><p>"Its an anti-possession mark. The fact that he has it branded it odd. Both Sam and Dean have it tattooed on their chest. To keep them from being possessed. Are you sure his eyes went black?"  I nodded not sure what else to say.  Castiel stood silently while I collected myself.  "Are you sure?" He asked again more firmly.</p><p> </p><p>The rustle from behind the bushes to the side caused both of us to jump a little.   "Yes, I promise they really did," James said stepping out from behind a big tree with three other very big men. All with their eyes black as night. </p><p> </p><p>"Get behind me," Castiel said a silver blade sliding out of his coat and into his hand almost like magic.  I stepped behind him, part of me just wanting to run. </p><p> </p><p>"Hello angel, I could smell you at the accident.   Shame I was really hoping for the man that touched my girl. He seemed to think its was ok to touch what was mine."  The way James smiled at me sent shivers down my spine.    "Bye bye angel." </p><p> </p><p>"I'm not going any..."</p><p> </p><p>James walked over to a tree and placed his bloody hand against a symbol in blood.   With what sounded like a spark in the air, Castiel was gone and I was left standing in the woods with 3 demons.  I must have looked insane. I watched the smile cross James face and I turned and ran.</p>
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<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I ran as long, and hard as I could. I was getting tired, and they never seemed to get any slower.  It had been a few hours, or at least it felt like that.  I tripped over a low root at one point losing my shoe, then a few minutes later losing the other.  I took a step to the side to avoid another root and fell to the side. I knew right away my ankle was sprained. Each step felt like fire and I was getting slower.  That's when I heard it.  James was singing this little song he always sang.  Over and over.  "Lily, Lily, she's so pretty. Gonna be mine till the end of time."  I ran as fast as I could.  When my legs gave out sometime after dark and there was nothing I could do.   My hands where cut up from falling too many times, and getting up was harder and harder. </p><p> </p><p>A foot pushed my back into the dirt as I tried not to break down and cry.  "James I found your pet." The voice was full of rage.  "Can we stop playing in the woods with angels now? I fucking hate angels."  The dirt in my face made it hard to breathe.  I tried to get up again when a hand threaded through my hair up the back my skull. Grabbing onto my hair he pulled me up to stand upright.  </p><p> </p><p>"Hello gorgeous." James said pulling me face to face with him.  He kissed me hard, my lips were closed tight as his tongue licked at them.  "Hhhhhnnnn... No fun. Don't worry we'll get you back on my team."   James said as he threw me over his shoulder.   One of the other men zip tied my hands and threw a bag over my head.  The black invaded everything when I felt the impact of something, then I was left in the dark internally I was screaming.</p><p> </p><p>I woke tied to a chair.  My hands bound behind my back and my calves tied to each chair leg.  A fireplace was roaring hot in the corner even thought it was the middle of summer.  The two men with James were both sitting beside it stocking a flame with what looked like a poker.  "She's up," one bellowed. </p><p> </p><p>"Oh oh there you are." James said coming for behind me, his hand rubbing across my neck and my face.  I felt like I was going to vomit.  His thumb running down my chin as he stepped in front of me.  He squatted down in front my me. His hands on either side of my legs.  Rubbing from my knees up my thigh.  "I'm going to make you like me again, and when its done you're going to see things my way." He licked his lips.   "I wonder what its going to be like when you feel like I do. Maybe you'll be into half of the stuff I am, maybe you'll want even more."  He said pulling an iron from the fire place then putting it back into the fire. </p><p> </p><p>"What are you planning?"   I asked trying not to let my voice be coloured with fear.   James didn't respond.  "James...," I put on this baby girl voice I knew he liked.   "Come on tell me what the hot poker is for?" He looked at me and smiled.  "If you tell me I'll give you something I know you want."  James's eyes turned to me, and his head turned to match after. It was mechanical, and sent fear raging through my body.  His hands squeezed my legs just a little higher.  "What you gonna give me sweet thang?"  He got real close to my face. </p><p> </p><p>"Tell me what you want?"  I said in a coy voice trying to get more out of him. </p><p> </p><p>His hands slid up my sides and up my chest.  He stopped and cupped my breasts pawing at me.  In his mind I knew he thought this was being gentle, that this was erotic, but in fact it was hurting at me.  He squeezed them tightly then moved up to my mouth. His thumb playing with my lip and then as he stuck his thumb in my mouth.  I did exactly what he wanted, sucking it.  Even as the bile built in my throat I licked his thumb like I was sucking a cock.  Then licked my lips. </p><p> </p><p>"I want you to become like us.  Its gonna hurt at first. The brand hurts like a bitch.  But after, after we just have a few things to do and then its like giving you the best damn drug you've ever had." </p><p> </p><p>"How?"  I asked trying to make my voice sound seductive.  "I know your a demon now.  How long has that been?" </p><p> </p><p>"Ooooo mon cher.... No no no," he said kissing the side of my mouth.   "The demon's not possessing me, I possess it.  A few of them actually, but we gotta start slow for you.  Just one, start small.  You're gonna feel so good after.  And then we can have all the fun we've been missing."</p><p> </p><p>"James you turned an anti-possession rune into a trap?"</p><p> </p><p>"Yep, I have 4 now.  Kyle and Lee have 2 each, and we are going to see what 5 can do after you're done."  He said his kiss was fast and hard and he caught me off guard he finding his way in. He tasted like ash and sulfur.  A thought of Dean flashed through my mind.  Dean is coming. I just need to hold out. </p><p> </p><p>When James turned and looked at the brand he smiled from ear to ear.  "Where do you want it kitty?"  I could hear the hiss of the metal.  When I didn't respond James smiled again.   "I know, I know. Its ok... its ok kitty... Your shoulder, I think...yes yes your shoulder... it will look amazing." He said putting a folded belt in my mouth.   "Bite this kitty." He said as he came around behind me. </p><p> </p><p>I screamed when it touched my flesh. It stank of rotten barbeque. I felt it sear into my soul.  Then I felt it burn down my shoulder, my arm, and into my back.  It felt like each cell was burning. I fought the darkness, the pain. I heard the metal crash to the ground as James poured some alcohol on it causing me to scream again into the belt biting down. I had to stay awake. I had to stay awake.  As James he bandaged it he kissed at my shoulder, my neck and on top of the bandage.  I whimpered and began to cry.  "Shh mon cher... Shhhh." He repeated it over and over again.  Holding me as I cried. </p><p> </p><p>"In a few days once its all healed we'll hook you up."  He said slowly undoing my legs from the chair.  He cut my wrist ties and held a pair of leather cuffs in front of me.  "Are you gonna be a good girl or bad girl, no wrong answers." James said holding the cuffs out.  I held my arms in front of me, meaning I would be good.  "Good good girl, now lets see if we can have some fun." </p><p> </p><p>"Do we all get to have some fun?"  Kyle asked looking me over in a way that caused my skin to crawl. </p><p> </p><p>"No, no, pretty kitty is all mine.  If she wants to play later then she can."  James said pulling me into a standing position hooking my cuffs to what could only be described as a dog leash.  "Gotta see what tricks this kitty remembers." He said pulling me up the stairs to a bed room, as his two friends made lewd comments from downstairs.  When we entered the room it was grand in James fashion.  He family had money so he had a certain standard of living. The king sized bed in the middle with straps sticking out from the corners at the foot of the bed. The far wall had a board full of play time toys, and a desk had an array of vibrating toys.  His other wall was full of pictures of me.  I don't even know how he got all of them.  There was even one or two from the bar in the last year. </p><p> </p><p>"Assume the position kitty," he said releasing the lease, as he took off his shirt. Carefully folding it and setting in in his top drawer. </p><p> </p><p>I didn't move.   "James I don't want to." He turned, rage building in his face. I knew that look, I walked over to him and put my hand on his chest.  The look of surprise crossed his face. I never initiated. "Uncuff me, lets play a new game."  I held out my hands waiting for him to uncuff me.  He was clearly debating.  </p><p> </p><p>"Kitty better have some new tricks for me."  James said as he undid my cuffs and placed them on a hanger on the wall.   I smiled at him sweetly.  I had learned to do this before, I could do this again.   I stripped off my shirt, and then undid my pants and slid them off.   I looked over my shoulder at him and he was checking out my ass. I turned and gave him a come hither finger curl. </p><p> </p><p>He was watching my every move and then his face dropped.  "What happened? Why did you ruin my beautiful work?" He grabbed my body, pulling me close his hand rubbing over my stomach.  He was almost distraught about it.  The anger was building. I carefully reached out and touched his hair as he kneeled in front of me almost weeping.  He was unstable, but this was new. He never swung through moods like this.  "It was the angel...." I said trying to sound upset. "He was healing me from the accident and he took them away."</p><p> </p><p>"Why, why would he do that?" James yelled.  He was squeezing my wrists too tight.  I felt like he would snap them any moment. </p><p> </p><p>"James,"  he didn't respond. I swallowed the bile I as took James chin in my hand and I bent down to kiss him gently.  I watched as his eyes refocused back on me.  "Once this whole thing is done you can make as many master pieces as you like."  He smiled like a kid in the candy store.  He nodded and I pulled him to his feet and into the bed. Sitting with my back to the headboard, pulling his head to my chest. He just rested there as his fingers drew more patterns on my stomach.  I tried not to cry but the tears slipped out. I know each was a finger pattern he intended to cut into my flesh.</p>
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<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>James fell asleep on my chest.  As his breathing evened out I thought maybe it was a chance to escape.  "Na ah ah..." James looked up with black eyes.  His face was contorted in a weird way. </p><p> </p><p>"James?"  I asked trying to sit up.</p><p> </p><p>"James is sleeping right now.  Humans are so weak." His hands moved up to my throat.  He squeezed, I couldn't breathe.   I grabbed onto the arm and started to try and pull it away as it choked me. I slapped and scratched at it and just when I felt my life starting to drain he released suddenly.  His arm dropped to his side and he started to stir.</p><p> </p><p>"Morning Kitty, did you sleep well?"  James spoke waking up.  </p><p> </p><p>I looked down on him fear clouding my eyes.</p><p> </p><p>"Oh oh kitty did you try something wrong? Did my playmates have some fun with you? Oooo poor kitty..." James said as he gently rubbed my neck.  "Oooo looks like it they like you too kitty..."  his hand wrapped around my throat again but he didn't squeeze.   "Oooo kitty today we are going to have so much fun."   James said as his hand slide down my neck to my chest.   He nipped at my nipple through the shirt.  The peak pushing through my shirt whether I wanted it to or not. </p><p> </p><p>His bite getting harder and harder.  "James please?"  I begged. </p><p> </p><p>"Please what kitty?"  James said releasing looking up at me with anticipation of something more. </p><p> </p><p>"Please be gentle..." I knew I had said the wrong thing and added quickly, "Its been a while." I said trying to sound needy. </p><p> </p><p>"Ahhh did that pretty boy not want you?"  James said trying to be a jerk. </p><p> </p><p>I had learned that it was best to be as honest as possible with James. Honesty didn't get me tripped up in remembering lies.  "No, he didn't.  I was all needy and he wouldn't." I said with a sad puppy voice.   I slowly pulled out from under James and stood. Trying to stretch out my neck and my shoulders.  I grabbed one of James shirts slipped it on. I knew this was something James would like. I tied it to the side making it fit but not as much as I would have normally. I didn't want to show any skin.   The smell of James mixed with blood and death took me by surprise.  I had to vomit, I had to release everything out of my stomach.  I excused myself to the ensuite shutting the door behind me. There was no way out.  I turned on the facet and wretched.</p><p> </p><p>I didn't stop until my stomach was empty and washed my face. When I came out of the bathroom James had changed and was waiting for me.  "All better kitty?" I nodded.  "Can't have kitty barfing all over the toys."  He said knowing what was really going on.  "Collar time kitty."  He put a thick black collar around my neck.   The hook on it was that of a choke chain, if I resisted it would get tighter.  "Time to go,"  he said as he leased me and then led me down to a big black truck. </p><p> </p><p>We climbed in, waiting for his goons.  One got in the driver seat the other jumped into the truck bed and we were off.   James hand was on my thigh, each time I tried to push his hand away he pulled the chain a little.  I couldn't breathe as his hand cupped my sex.  He didn't do anything just wanted me to know that he could make me complaint.  I prayed, prayed for someone to save me. I knew as we moved further and further away that Dean wouldn't find me. </p><p> </p><p>I prayed as loud as I could in my head.  Maybe, maybe Castiel could hear me.  We got to a new house in the middle of the woods. The private road was long and winding and I knew that it was miles to the main road.  The house was James style. A big cabin in the woods with big windows and balconies. If I was here with anyone else I would be excited to check out the house. </p><p> </p><p>"It even has a pool," James said being able to read my face like a book. I hated that he could do that.  "Go, go check everything out. Meet me at the pool in 30 minutes...naked or you will be punished." He said reading my mind again. </p><p> </p><p>I had a choice; I could run, but I knew if I did it would be more pain.   I walked into the house looking around.  I found all the things that James wanted me to find.  I found his play room, his dungeon, I found the locked doors, and I found the bedroom clearly laid out for James and I.  The closet was full of clothes meant for me, although I was surprised it was pretty summer dresses. Wasn't what I would have expected from him.</p><p> </p><p>I saw the clock and knew my time was almost up.  I went down to the pool to find the goons naked laying on some deck chairs. They watched me as I stripped and I climbed into the pool. James was happy when he saw I was in the pool. That was a good thing because a happy James would hurt me less.</p><p> </p><p>"Kitty my friends are feeling very needy." James said smiling as he stripped off his shirt but left his jeans on.  "Service them kitty." I didn't move for a few moments and he shook his head.  "Just your mouth kitty, or I'll let them take your ass."  I didn't move for a moment.  "5 seconds.... 5....4...3... "</p><p> </p><p>I started to climb out of the water.  James watched my body in a way that made me nervous.  I pulled my hair into a bun and knelt in front of goon #1.  I made quick work of him, and then the 2nd.  I barfed on the side of the pool as he came in my mouth and all the men laughed as he picked me up and threw me into the pool.  I screamed and he laughed. He stripped his pants and sat on the stairs at the shallow end of the pool.  </p><p> </p><p>"My turn," Jame smiled, and he watched as I swam over.  I didn't move at first but then he grabbed me by the neck and hair shoving me down on his cock.  He was half in and out of the water, and each push down caused me to feel like I was drowning.  He held me under as I squirmed.  The would let me up and repeat.  He continued a few more times and then stood re-latched my leash and dragged me into the house.   </p><p> </p><p>He dragged me into his play room. It was every thing you didn't want.  His canes with little barbs on them, knives, chockers with spikes on the insides.   He led me to the xander cross and cuffed me.  He grabbed a cane and dragged it across my skin.  Then he realized, my bandage had fallen off my shoulder in the water.  There was no brand, no scar, it was just like normal.</p><p> </p><p>"What the fuck?"  James screamed. "How the fuck did that happen? What the fuck, what the fuck...."  He raged as he hit me.  He started on my legs, my thighs, my sides, the underside of my arms.   Little razor cuts. I must of had a few dozen when he slowed his hits to look at his handy work.  A drop of blood from each cut.   The stung and I tried not to cry. I ground my teeth together.  I wouldn't give it to him. I wouldn't give him my screams or tears. </p><p> </p><p>James didn't stop, instead he turned me over, and repeated on the back.  My lower back caused the pain of the tears to escape without control.  When he got to the back of my neck he stopped.  "Well well well what is this...." He said moving my hair to the side. "Looks like someone already branded you.  Was it your angel? Maybe the pretty boy?  You always were a kinky little girl.  Looks like we move to plan B kitty.  Too bad, I was hoping for a play mate.  I guess you'll just keep being my kitty, instead of my tigress."</p><p> </p><p>Without warning he drove into me with no prep and the scream that escaped fueled him to pump harder.  He licked each drop of blood off my back, my neck, my shoulders.  "Thats right, thats my pet, scream for me bitch."  He grunted as he pumped. </p><p> </p><p>I heard something squish downstairs, it was like I had super hearing, but James didn't hear it.  I heard it again this time with a thud against the door.  "Fuck off," James yelled.  "Scream again for me kitty."  James pumped again harder.  Slipping out of my core and into my ass.  I screamed louder then I ever had before.  I screamed like my soul was escaping. </p><p> </p><p>I felt something inside me rip as he pumped and I gave him the screams he wanted, "Amara please god..."  The tears started and then I heard the doors open.</p><p> </p><p>"Scream for me bitch," her voice was clear. James was there one moment and gone the next. The squish and the feel of wetness on my back and I screamed again.   When her hands touched me skin I moaned in pain.  "Shhhh little one, shhh..." It was A. She was there.  She uncuffed my legs and then arms.  Pulling me off the cross. There was a pile of goo at the ground.  But A was here and that's all that mattered.</p><p> </p><p>She pulled a bed spread off the bed and covered me.  "He he.... " I tried to speak and I couldn't.  "A.. I cried in her arms."</p><p> </p><p>"I know little one.  I know.... I'm sorry I couldn't get here, I was worlds away."  I held tightly onto her.  Like she was my life.  "I can't heal you but I can take you back to Dean." I nodded.   And with that I was in the bunker.  </p><p> </p><p>"Dean..." she shouted and Sam and Dean came running. Castiel was right behind them.  They all stopped when they saw me, and A.</p><p> </p><p>"Amara?"  Both brothers said at the same time.  They both drew their guns and Castiel drew his sword.</p><p> </p><p>"You know that won't do anything," she said waving her hand as the weapons went flying across the room.   "Castiel she needs you." Amara said passing me off to him.  I didn't want to leave her. I didn't want to go, but Castiel smelled like the beach and I didn't want Dean to know... I didn't want him to see. </p><p> </p><p>I watched as A whispered something in Dean's ear and then she waved gently to me and she was gone. </p>
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<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Castiel stayed with me as I showered. He sat just outside the stall with a towel for me.  When I started to cry and sat down in the water Cas politely knocked on the stall.  He came in wrapping me in a towel and then in his coat.  He took me to Deans room and helped me into PJ's in the most modest way possible.  He tucked me into bed and touched my forehead gently.  I feel asleep into the most peaceful sleep I had in a long time.</p><p> </p><p>The clock read 3 pm and I crawled out of bed.  I slowly found my way around the bunker to find Jack and Sam talking in the library.  I didn't go in at first just listening.  After about 5 minutes I had the jist.  Dean had left for a drive, 2 days ago.  Sam was worried because he wasn't responding to his calls.  That was enough for me.  I went back to my room and packed. With James gone there was no reason not to be in my own house tonight. </p><p> </p><p>I had seen a bike in the garage when Jack had showed me around.  Opening the garage door was hard with my body still so cut up and weak, I hadn't even given Castiel time to heal me.  The Harley would replace my baby for now.  I was home within 20 minutes and crying in my bed shortly after.  I woke at 6 am the next more started my day. </p><p> </p><p>The bar was running perfectly, the new manager I had hired was doing amazing they had no real need for me.  I grabbed a bottle of scotch from behind the bar and was drinking by noon.  Within an hour I was drunk without much in my stomach.  I knew it was a bad idea but I picked up my phone and started texting. </p><p> </p><p>L: Where are you?</p><p> </p><p> There was no response for 20 minutes or so. </p><p> </p><p>D: I needed to clear my head.</p><p> </p><p>L: What did A say to you?</p><p> </p><p>D: How do you know her?</p><p> </p><p>L: She is my friend.</p><p> </p><p>D:  How the hell are you friends with one of the first and most powerful beings in exisitance.</p><p> </p><p>L: How the hell are you best friends with an angel?  Pot stop calling me a kettle.</p><p> </p><p>D: I need time to think.</p><p> </p><p>L: About what?</p><p> </p><p>D: This is a lot to digest. </p><p> </p><p>L: What did A say to you?</p><p> </p><p>D: A lot.</p><p> </p><p>L: Like....</p><p> </p><p>D: I'll be back a the bunker in a few days, we will talk then. </p><p> </p><p>L: I'm not there</p><p> </p><p>D: Why?</p><p> </p><p>L: Because I'm not dating Sam, or Cas. I expected you to be there, and you weren't. </p><p> </p><p>D: I don't know if I can do this.</p><p> </p><p>L: Of course you can't, you can face demons, go to hell, die over and over, but you can't stand a relationship. Fuck you Dean Winchester. </p><p> </p><p>It wasn't till the next morning I saw the text.</p><p> </p><p>D: Amara said you and I are tied together like soul mates or something. People I love die, you deserve better. </p><p> </p><p>I didn't know what to respond so I didn't. I went to work.  They didn't really need me but I helped where I could.  It was a long day and as the day turned to night the bar got more busy.  The regulars moved in and I talked to a few as I drank, a lot.  By the time I walked home I couldn't walk straight but that was ok, I didn't really give a shit. </p><p> </p><p>I followed that pattern.  Did some work during the day, drank the night away.  Night after night. A part of me was wishing that Dean would show up, but part of me knew that he wouldn't.  After about a month both Jonny and Linda tried to talk to me, I ignored them both.  About another month later Jonny came and visited me in before I made my way to the bar. He had saved up a bunch and wanted to buy a share in the bar, instead I set up a payment plan based on the bars profits and sold it to him.  I didn't go in to drink that night I cried myself to sleep with a bottle, waking up early evening. </p><p> </p><p>L: Why has knowing you turned my life to shit?</p><p> </p><p>No response</p><p> </p><p>L: I hurt... Why aren't you here?</p><p> </p><p>D: Are you drunk? Its only 9 pm there, a little early.</p><p> </p><p>L: My life is falling apart.</p><p> </p><p>D: I'm sorry</p><p> </p><p>L: Why aren't you here with me?</p><p> </p><p>D: We're not good for each other. You deserve better.</p><p> </p><p>L: Fuck you</p><p> </p><p>D: You say that too much</p><p> </p><p>L: You're an asshole</p><p> </p><p>D: I know its hard to understand, but I'm doing this for you.</p><p> </p><p>L: You don't get to make that decision for me.  </p><p> </p><p>I switched off my phone.  I was the drunk stumbling into the bar at 10, sitting at the bar.   When the hell did I become a regular here.  I sat beside the other regulars I knew and sippy my drink.  I just didn't want to be alone.  Not tonight. </p><p> </p><p>I didn't know his name, he had been in the last few weeks I had talked to him a few times.  He was a bit older then me, short curl brown hair. His goatee fitted his face well and he was dressed like an everyday man.  He was generally nice, sometimes a bit of a pompous ass. He was a writer or something, doing research for his next book he said. Honestly I just thought he was another douche bag drinking in the bar.  That was until one night I was sitting at the bar talking to no name when Sam walked in. The look on his face could kill. </p><p> </p><p>"Lily, how do you know Chuck?"  Sam asked introducing us in the most awkward way. I just looked at him words not registering.  "As in A's Chuck."</p>
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<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Short chapter but explains so much....</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>My world was so foggy I couldn't think straight.</p><p> </p><p>"Nice to meet you Chuck, I'm Lily." I said giving him my hand to shake and then almost sliding off the seat giggling the whole time.</p><p> </p><p>Chuck didn't move, he just watched me and Sam like we were his scientific specimens.</p><p> </p><p>"What do you want Sam?  I'm having a drink, hanging out with friends, and haven't seen you guys for months."</p><p> </p><p>"You texted Dean," Sam said his eyes trying to say what his words weren't.</p><p> </p><p>"So sue me, drunk texting happens.  Here you can take this," I said handing him my phone. "I won't be doing it again."  The phone slipped out of my hand and past Sam's and the three of us watched as it fell to the floor and I heard the glass break.   </p><p> </p><p>The sound rang in my brain for a second...."Holy shit, your like ... Your God?!" I said just a little loud. A few other drunks looked at me, but most just ignored my newly regular drunk ass. </p><p> </p><p>"Hello Lily, I'm Chuck, nice to meet you." Chuck said almost laughing giving me his hand to shake.    I backed up, stepping on my phone and almost falling into Sam. </p><p> </p><p>"You can't hurt me," were the first words out of my mouth.</p><p> </p><p>"You know what's weird," Chuck said sliding off his seat and gently guided me out the back door Sam walking almost backwards to follow.  "I can't track you either. I didn't get it at first and then I realized what happened.  See I came here to end my story, I've gotten rid of all the alternate endings, all the alternate plots, but for some reason I can't get rid of this world.  I really want to end my story, maybe start over, start fresh and I can't do that, and its your fault."</p><p> </p><p>"My fault? " I asked as he pushed me out the door. </p><p> </p><p>"Amara marked you, you're her tether to this world.  At first I just wanted to kill you to hurt Dean, but when you wouldn't die I had to find out why."</p><p> </p><p>"You tried to kill me?"  I asked trying to pull away from his grip and he squeezed a bit more. </p><p> </p><p>"I can't snap you out of existence, I can't cause world ending events, I can't poison you, I can't stab you, I can't, I can't, I can't." Chuck was starting to sound like a toddler having a temper tantrum. "Then you called Dean the other day, and I saw it...See you're tied to Amara because Dean raised her. Your meant for Dean, but if you two aren't meant for each other any more then that tie gets weaker."    Chuck got really close to me, so close that Sam couldn't hear me.  "So little mortal, keep texting him, keep pushing him, keep mooning over him, because the more you do the more do the further he gets, he can never love you."  Chuck released me, smiled and as I pulled away and he started to walk away down the road "And the sooner you realize this the sooner I can end my story."   </p><p> </p><p>I felt my eyes lose focus.  I felt as he let go of me and as I fell to the ground. I fought the darkness as my body wanted to give up, and I watched as he walked away.  He was whistling, his words echoing around my head. Sam tried to help me up, he rubbed my back, I looked up at him, smiled, and then barfed on his shoes.    </p>
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<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Chpater 15</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I woke up in my bed, and knew Sam had carried me home.  It was 11 am and my head hurt like I had been hit by a truck.  Apparently drinking and meeting God don't coexist well.  God, holy shit I had met God ....what the fuck.. I ran to the bathroom and heaved the last bit of my stomach contents. </p><p> </p><p>I showered and packed a bag.  Apparently dating Dean meant my very survival and I was so done with all the chaos he had brought into my life.  Maybe leaving meant the end of the world, but fuck it, I was so sick of all this supernatural shit.  I just wanted to be a girl who had a life again.  I packed everything I truly cared about in a small back pack and it made my heart ache.  This life I had created was a good life and I had gone and burned it down. </p><p> </p><p>I left a note on the door with the keys knowing Jonny would come looking for me in a day or two. The deed was left on the table with the paperwork to sign it over to him.  I was on the Harley I had stolen for the Winchesters and as I was riding out of town I hit intersection where if I turned left I was going to the bunker.  I pulled over on the side of the road and screamed.</p><p> </p><p>"This is my life. Fuck you and all your plans.  He doesn't even want me.  I deserve to live my own life." I screamed and yelled at the sky, at everyone and at no one.  Then I got on my bike and without thought I was at the bunker, and knocking on the door.</p><p> </p><p>Cas answered and opened the door, "Lily..." he said in his always slightly questioning voice as I walked past him and started down the stairs.  I was in the bunker and looking around for Dean before he could stop me.  Sam spotted me and stood from the library table "Lily?"  He was about to walk towards me and I wasn't going to be stopped.</p><p> </p><p>I found Dean from the sound of his slow breathing... He was sleeping, and I walked into his room and locked the door behind me.  The sound of the door slamming walking Dean up, gun in hand pointing right at me.  The look on his face let me know he was listening, as I had a similar Glock pointing right back at him.  </p><p> </p><p>"Lily what are you doing here and why are you pointing a gun at me?"  Dean said sitting up in his bed. His blanket sliding down his bare chest.  I pulled the trigger.</p><p> </p><p>Sam slammed on the door behind me... "Dean...Lily..."</p><p> </p><p>"Holy fuck .... not right now Sammy." Dean shouted back, his eyes looking at his headboard and the hole where he had been just a few seconds ago.    He didn't put his gun down, point it at me, but not taking the shot.  </p><p> </p><p>"Dean what's going on?"  Sam shouted trying to slam against the door. </p><p> </p><p>"She shot at me and has a gun pointed at my chest Sammy."  Dean said calmly.   I could tell the door wasn't going to hold and moved to the side as Sam broke the lock and the door open.  He fell a little on the bed and turned to look at me. </p><p> </p><p>"Don't you fucking get it... I just want to live my life. My life my way."   I said now pointing the gun at both of them. </p><p> </p><p>"I get that babes that's why we can't be together." Dean said sliding out of bed on the far side standing up in his boxers. His vision never changing, if I shot again he would shoot me.</p><p> </p><p>"No you don't get it. Cause your too stupid to get it.  I don't want to die. Maybe, maybe if I end his fucking story he'll move on. " </p><p> </p><p>Dean looked at Sam confused, "Chuck," Dean nodded understanding, slowing aiming his gun to my feet now.</p><p> </p><p>"Chuck is all about playing games, and we're his favorite tv show.  He won't stop till he gets the ending he wants."  Sam said. </p><p> </p><p>The first bullet wized past Sam, hitting his ear.  "This isn't about you Sam, what don't you get. No more talking." </p><p> </p><p>Both men stood up a little more straight, Dean pointed directly at me again. I knew how to use this despite my hangover and tears I could put two in each of their chests and maybe get to live my life.</p><p> </p><p>"You know what, you're right babes. I am stupid." Dean said raising his hands slowly putting the weapon on the bed and moving to the side of the bed.  "Can you explain it to me."  He took another step or two closer and I raised the weapon again and he stopped.</p><p> </p><p>Tears clouded my vision.  Cas seemed to be there out of no where.  "She just got her life back only to find out you're her soul mate. Something that only happens to one in a few million people.  She was marked my Amara meaning that Chuck can't hurt her or this world, but the less you love her the weaker that mark gets.  Meaning she never gets to be free , but if you don't love her we all die."  Cas said standing in the doorway looking in. </p><p> </p><p>Dean and Sam both stood with their mouths open. </p><p> </p><p>"Maybe, maybe if I kill him Chuck will let us all live?" I pointed the gun at Dean again.</p><p> </p><p>"You know that's not true." Cas said matter of fact-ly. </p><p> </p><p>"Maybe if I kill myself then?"  I said holding the gun to my head, "Maybe its the only way."  The room got quiet for what seemed like an eternity.  Dean was moving in what felt like slow motion.  He was there his hand on mine, his finger not allowing me to pull the trigger. </p><p> </p><p>He slowly pulled the gun away from my head.  "Please don't," was all he said as he slowly put the safety on the gun and then slowly took it out of my hand, passing it behind him to someone else.   He was an inch or two from my face, time slowed.  He searched my eyes, and I searched his.  I wanted him to tell me he loved me, for him to tell me he cared but that wasn't Dean.  I wanted him to kiss me, but then again I had just tired to kill him.  I slowly pulled away from him and backed up, praying he would follow, but he didn't. </p><p> </p><p>"Cas I'm staying in your room," I announced as I pulled past Dean and then Sam and into the hall way. Neither spoke as I moved down a few doors and locked myself in.  I stood in the middle of the room for only a few minutes when rage consumed me.  This was never going to end.  I screamed, long and hard until my voice gave out, then I screamed until I started to cough up blood.  It had been only 20 minutes when I emerged from the room to the bathroom to spit out the blood.   </p><p> </p><p>The men all watched as I walked past them as they were still talking in Deans room and started to fix his door. After the bathroom I stopped in the library and grabbed the bottle of the good stuff I knew Dean had been hiding, and walked back past Deans room, again the men all watching me as I relocked myself behind the door.  I turned to find Jack sitting on the couch.</p><p> </p><p>"I don't understand what is happening, can you please explain why you tried to shoot Dean?"  Jack asked giving me this look of both innocence and inquisitive nature. </p><p> </p><p>"Jack I can't," I said with a scratchy voice opening my bottle. </p><p> </p><p>Jack nodded and turned on the T.V.  "I'll stay with you until you can," he said nodding and starting to watch some show on true crime.  I didn't and couldn't argue with him so I sat down cracking open my bottle and taking a swig.    An hour past and the boredom past the more I drank. After another hour I was tired and the bottle was almost gone.  Then I was out, and dreamed of Dean. I dreamed of a future I could never have, I dreamed of pulling the trigger and how Chuck might have let me go. I dreamed of blackness and death, and I mourned my own death.  I dreamed of Deans smile as I walked down the aisle on our wedding day.  Everything that was going on was emotionally exhausting until I saw Jack, and then I knew.</p><p> </p><p>"Jack get the hell out of my head."  I yelled as I walked down the aisle, everyone starred at me, my  beautiful white dress faded away as did Deans smile and I woke up on the couch with Jack sitting beside me.  "What the fuck?" My voice cracked painfully. </p><p> </p><p>"You wouldn't talk to me, so I found out all the details.  If I could remove that mark would you want me to?" Jack asked setting the bottle on the ground from in between  us.</p><p> </p><p>I nodded profusely, my voice still not working.</p><p> </p><p>Jack didn't say anything he just touched my head and I felt something change. It was like when you open a window after being in a musty room.  "Done," he said getting up.</p><p> </p><p>I grabbed his arm. "Don't tell them," I bagged. </p><p> </p><p>Jack smiled and nodded and walked out of the room like it was nothing. </p>
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<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Chapter 16</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I sat on the couch longer then I meant to.  Deciding, thinking, trying to figure out my next move.  I wasn't sure what Jack had all done but I knew it had big implications.  After almost 2 days of drinking and hiding in the room I finally ventured out into the kitchen to grab some grub. </p><p> </p><p>The table there was covered with dirty, crusty dishes so I took my breakfast at 3 pm and coffee to the library and sat at the table.   Within a few minutes everyone else joined me, some drinking, some eating, some reading.  It was quiet until Jack came in.</p><p> </p><p>"I have cut your soul mate bond." Jack said simply to Dean and I.  The room was quiet and the air system turning on seemed to cause us to jump. </p><p> </p><p>"What about Chuck?" Sam was the first to break the silence.</p><p> </p><p>"Lily still holds the mark, I just changed it a bit. Its no longer tied to Dean." </p><p> </p><p>Dean wouldn't look at me and I just wanted him to look at me.  I nodded.  "Ok good then, I guess I'll be on my way." I said shoving more food in my face. "I'll head out first thing tomorrow." Everyone just nodded which almost hurt more because it meant that I was truly unwanted. </p><p> </p><p>"You don't have to..." Cas started.</p><p> </p><p>"Yes she does." Dean responded. Still refusing to make eye contact with me. </p><p> </p><p>I pursed my lips in anger, in hatred, in sadness and stood leaving the table.  I would tune up my bike and then get out of here.  When I reached the garage I knew my bike was there but so was Baby. Deans favorite fucking thing... Seeing it made my insides hurt and explode at the same time.  I blacked out and when I came to I had a tire iron in my hand, was sweaty and exhausted, and Baby was in not so pretty any more.  There was no glass left, no lights, large dents gracing every side, and all the tires weren't just slashed they were shredded.  I didn't care if this made me look psychotic it didn't feel wrong.  I held the blue spray paint in my other hand and knew right away what I had to do. </p><p> </p><p>The trunk read: Don't call me Babes. The Front read: soul mate. The sides read: I broke your baby, just like you did my life.  It was a garbage heap of emotion and frankly felt amazing when I dropped the spray bottle and walked away.  It was 11 pm and I would hit the road in the morning.   I dragged my spray painted wet hand along the wall as I walked back to my room.  Making it clear what happened. </p><p> </p><p>I stole a few rations, ammo and a stack of cash I found in the tool box. I was on my bike at 6 am headed across the country.  I wasn't sure what I was going, what I was doing but I was free and that was all that mattered.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A FEW MONTHS LATER</p><p>The room was darkly lit, with hanging lighters over the seating areas,  the gentle rock and alternative music was the perfect volume in the background.  My new job at the bar in the middle of butt fuck nowhere which was perfect for its clientele. Turns out once you get involved with the supernatural you can never get uninvolved.  Sanctuary was just that, it was a place where supernatural beings couldn't enter.  Jesses bar had become a safe place for hunters, victims on the run, and normies (My word for the rest of the world) to go.  She have a few trailers out back for rent for those who needed a night or two  to stay.  She ended up having a few people at a time that would stay on board and help at the bar to trade for safe harbour and it that's why I was here. </p><p> </p><p>I had kept my ear to the ground and heard stories about the Winchesters.  I even heard about the bitch who trashed Deans car.  Something about Chuck not finishing them off yet made me relieved and made my heart hurt at the same time.  When word about the bar started to circulate online I realized it was just a matter of time before I had to face him.  The day he walked into my bar I was ready for it. </p><p> </p><p>I heard the front door open, a clear sign of newbies, we all use the side. I looked up to watch as Castiel was unable to enter.  It was comical to say the least. The magic was powerful and held them out like a forcefield.  After a few moments and the scene growing bigger and bigger Cas announced that he would stay in the car.   I slipped from behind the bar to the kitchen unseen and my heart did flutters as I heard Dean order two beers.  He flirted with Jessie, a strong middleaged black woman a few minutes only to be annoyed when she didn't flirt back.    Now it was Sam's turn.  He started to ask if they have seen this woman around here. She has been missing for a number of months and they were her big brothers deeply concerned for her.  Jessie didn't skip a beat. She said she hadn't seen anyone like that and pressed the panic button under the bar.</p><p> </p><p>The panic button was for all of the boarders to let them know to lock down because someone was asking about one of them.  But I hit the cancel button knowing it was my picture they were holding up.  I took a deep breath and came around back to the bar.</p><p> </p><p>"Jessie you can go take a break," I said watching as the shock crossed both of their faces, and watched as Sam put away my picture. </p><p> </p><p>"You sure baby?" She asked in her protective tone.</p><p> </p><p>"Jessie met Dean, Dean meet my boss."  I said. Jessie knew right away who he was and her eyes turned to slits.  Anger radiated off her.  "I'm not going anywhere child." she said moving over and taking a seat just a stool down or too. Jessie had been there since the beginning. She pieced me back together.  She held me as I cried, as the withdrawals got bad, as I cried for Dean in my sleep.  She helped me learn how to get through it. And because of her I finally was almost free.  I say almost because last night I dreamt about my wedding day and was soon sleeping on the floor at the foot of her bed.  She had become my momma.</p><p> </p><p>"Lily we have been looking everywhere for you, we thoughted maybe Chuck or maybe you where holed up here?" Sam asked concern in his voice. I couldn't take my eyes of Dean. We starred back at each other, neither blinking or breaking the moment till on the girls came out form the back with food and we both looked away.</p><p> </p><p>"Its worse then that Sam, I live here."  I said pouring myself a glass of scotch.  "Funny enough I have a few broken hearted soulmates in the back.  Do you know what loosing your soul mate does to a person Dean?"  I said glaring at him taking a deep pull of my drink.  This time he didn't look up at me.  "Course not, you and I are the only ones in history to have our destinies actually rewritten by Gods, or demi Gods.  I mean what is Jack exactly cause he isn't a half angel, not really."</p><p> </p><p>"Jacks dead," Dean said pulling a swig from his beer and I didn't miss a beat.</p><p> </p><p>"Sorry for your loss Sam. Please tell Cas my sympathies."  Sam nodded.</p><p> </p><p>"Speaking of which why can't Cas come in?" Dean asked still not looking at me. </p><p> </p><p>"Spelled," Jessie said listening from the side lines.  The conversation died quickly with much less needed to be said. "Well boys if that's all, I have a job to do, and frankly would be more then happy not to see your face for a few more years."  I started to go back into the kitchen when I heard Sam smack Dean. </p><p> </p><p>"You know those people you help, who lost their soul mates?"  Dean said, his voice was sad. "You know how messed up they are?"  I turned an nodded. I wasn't going to let him get to me.  "I can't do this..." Dean said just about standing and leaving when Sam grabbed him by the shoulder and pushed him back down. </p><p> </p><p>"Do it or I will." Sam said sternly. I had never heard tone from Sam before.</p><p> </p><p>"Well.. I'm.... I'm not doing so hot." Dean said causing me to actually stop. "Turns out not having a soul mate kind of messes with you after a while."  I moved over to the wall, my foot braced against it as I leaned back. I knew exactly what he was talking about, but I wasn't giving him a moment of satisfaction to know that I felt that way too.</p><p> </p><p>"Honey my soul mate died 22 years ago, I still feel it." Jessie said from the side lines.  "That feeling doesn't go away, you just gotta find a way to fill that hole back up with something almost as good."</p><p> </p><p>"Don't work that way ma'me," Dean said quietly.  "See Lily and I aren't the same as normal soul mates.  And frankly without her I feel like I'm dying."  Dean held Jessie's eyes for a long while and I could visibly see her relax. I didn't want her to relax, I wanted her to bust his balls for breaking my heart.  But she wasn't like that, she understood our pain and wasn't going to belittle it at all.</p><p> </p><p>"What do you want Dean?" I said with all the bitterness I could muster.</p><p> </p><p>Dean wouldn't make eye contact. </p><p> </p><p>"Dean Winchester you look at me when I'm talking to you."  I was furious.  He slowly looked up from his drink and when his eyes connected with mine I thought my heart just ripped in two again.  "What do you want?" Dean said nothing. I counted in my head, when I got to 20 he slowly got up, dropping a 50 and an envelope on the bar and left.   Sam just stood there and said nothing for a second.... "Here," he said writing his number number down and he was chasing after his brother. </p><p> </p><p>Jessie was at my side in a moment handing me the letter. She called someone else to the bar and grabbed me forcefully by the arm to the back.  "Girl are you stupid or something?  Clearly Jack dying made this all come back. Meaning your soul mate is right there any your too stubborn just to go to him.  What do you want girl?"  Was a big woman and her large frame mixed with southern anger scared me like a child.</p><p> </p><p>"I need him to tell me he loves me.  That he actually wants me.  If he can't admit that then I'll just keep right here."</p><p> </p><p>"Child I love you, but you have a chance at happiness and your just being too idiotic to see it."   I didn't say a word. "Here take this its yours...."  Jessie said handing me a letter.  "Take the rest of the day off. I just can't with you right now." Jesse said angry at me. </p><p> </p><p>I went back to my small trailer and sat there looking at the envelope.  It grew dark and soon I knew it was late.   I finally lit a small lantern and opened it. </p><p> </p><p>I could tell from the different types of ink the different ways it was written  that this was written over maybe days almost like a ongoing journal entry more then a letter.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I can't get the image of lace out of my head. Delicate white lace that graces your shoulders.  I think its or wedding day and I ache any time I see it.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I miss your smile.  Or your scowl. How do I miss you so much when its been only a short time.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I forgive you, I fixed up baby today.  Just want you to know she's back to her regular self. I wish I could say I was. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I can't see your face clearly in my mind anymore, unless I'm dreaming but then you always leave me. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I really hope I find you. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I hurt without you.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Its been almost 3 months now and I would give anything to hold you.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Lace again... You look beautiful...</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I love you Lily, please come back to me.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>The last line was smeared and shaky in its writing I knew what emotion was behind it.  I left my trailer clean of all my stuff, kissed Jessie goodbye on the cheek, and was on my bike headed home through the darkness.</p>
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<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Final Chapter</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I drove faster then anyone should on a bike at night. One bump, one pot hole, and I was a splat on the payment, but I didn't care.  I needed to get back to him.   I felt it before I saw the road side motel. I knew he was close. I giggled, was this was my new Spidey sense. Sure enough the Impala was parked in the side lot and I was off my bike just as Sam was coming around the corner.</p><p> </p><p>"Which room?" I asked not giving him time to say anything else. He nodded to the door down from me. "You're gonna want your own room tonight." I said taking the room key from Sam's full hands and opening the door.    Cas was sitting at the table and I could hear the water running in the shower.  "Out." Was all I said and Cas moved without a word.  The shower seemed like it was running forever and Sam had time to drop food off, take the keys to the Impala and leave before Dean came out.</p><p> </p><p>He was wrapped in a towel and came out of the shower clearly exhausted.  I was sitting at the table with a beer and picking at fries when he came out.  I couldn't help but look him up and down.  He was in his own world at first and turned his back to me to put a shirt on. </p><p> </p><p>"I wouldn't bother," I said him freezing unmoving in his spot. "I'm pretty sure I'm just going to rip it off you again."  He turned slowly and the smile that crossed his face made my heart sing. The way he folded the towel just a little tighter around his waist, it was hard not to stare. </p><p> </p><p>"Oh are you now?" He said his shock wearing off quickly, his male charm taking over.   </p><p> </p><p>"Yep, in fact..." I said pulling dropping my leather jacket to the ground. "I think...." I pulled my shirt off taking another step towards him. His eyes never leaving mine. "That you should..." my belt fell to the floor as I stepped out  my shoes..."Drop the towel too."  I was an inch from his face and while we froze for a second my pants seemed to just disappear to the floor.  I stopped in front of him in only my underwear. </p><p> </p><p>"I thought you were mad at me..." He said quietly starring at my body.</p><p> </p><p>"I was...."</p><p> </p><p>"Still..."</p><p> </p><p>"Furious..." I said half meaning it, but the joke tone in my voice made it clear that I was half not.  I nipped at his chin just a little.</p><p> </p><p>"I was pretty mad at you too."  He said closing the little gap between us. His breathe and mine no longer distinguishable from each other.   </p><p> </p><p>"Well I did shoot at you." I said trying hard not to let this moment get away from us.</p><p> </p><p>"Not for that..." he said and a question crossed my face.... "you trashed my car." </p><p> </p><p>"Oh... That...." I said I didn't mean for the giggle at the end but it slipped out.</p><p> </p><p>"You think its funny?"  Something flashed behind his eyes, he pulled away from me a little. "I'm no good for you, people I love die."</p><p> </p><p>"Then don't." I said moving closer again as he tried to back away.</p><p> </p><p>"Don't what? " Confusion crossed his face.</p><p> </p><p>"I fucking hate you sometimes." I said moving closer.</p><p> </p><p>It took him a second before he understood.  "You are incredible," he said smiling at me for a minute.</p><p> </p><p>"Dean?"</p><p> </p><p>"Yea.."</p><p> </p><p>"Will you please just kiss me already?"  I asked, bagging him.</p><p> </p><p>"Only if you say it," he said getting back into my space.  I didn't say it.  His hand moved into my hair, pulling my jaw up to him and pulling just slightly.  "Say it..." He said again tugging gently. He nipped at my neck leaving a little mark. He did it again and again moving up my jaw stopping just before my lips. I was a puddle of goo in his hands. "Say it." He tugged again a little harder.</p><p> </p><p>"I'm sorry for hurting your baby...." I said in a almost rush of words, and little moan.</p><p> </p><p>"And," Dean said biting my ear a little harder. </p><p> </p><p>"I'm sorry for shooting at you."</p><p> </p><p>"Good girl," he said not wasting another moment for his lips to met mine. They were soft and wet and perfect and the kiss as passionate and a little rough.  He really was angry with me, and I him and yet we kissed deeply and lost sense of all time.   I felt his hands move deeper into my hair. Controlling the kiss, pulling me closer to him.  His other hand moving across my skin. He only moved his hand from my hair to relieve me of my bra with easy quick work.  I did the same to his towel and it dropped to the ground.  Our kiss didn't seem to end until he slid me to the side of the bed.</p><p> </p><p>When he finally broke the kiss we both gasped for air. </p><p> </p><p>"I fucking hate you sometimes." I said as he pulled back a little.  </p><p> </p><p>"You're going to hate me a little more before this is all done." Dean said his body sliding down mine as he slid to his knees in front of me pulling my panties off with him.  I didn't have time to think or speak before my legs were spread wide and his tongue took a lick.  All words left for a moment as Dean's tongue started to work me.  Just when I thought I had all the feelings under control Dean would change what he was doing. He was a master with his mouth, not that it surprised me. Soon my legs were over his shoulders and he smiled at the moans and sounds I made as he continued to bring me close but never let me fall over the edge. </p><p> </p><p>"God Dean, please..."</p><p> </p><p>"Please what?" Dean said changing again and chuckling as I whined a the loss of contact. I was so close and he wouldn't let me fall over the edge. When my hand slid down to my clit he shook his head at me, slapping my hand, and my pussy. Causing me to shriek and moan at the same time.   "Someone like that?"  Dean asked biting the inside of my leg. The pain felt delicious and I moaned.    I tried to touch my clit again and Dean pulled back and stood.  He made me stand and brought me over to the table.  He simply pushed off all the food to the floor and on the way had grabbed our belts. Soon my arms were tied to the far side of the table legs, and my chest was laid across the small table as my ass was pushed into the air a little. I could barely touch the ground, and even as he was rough to me, I loved every second of it. I didn't want him to be gentle. </p><p> </p><p>He pulled my hair back from my face, his erect cock in my face.  He didn't have to say anything I opened my mouth for him and he shoved in.  There was nothing gentle, we were anger fucking and I was ok with that.  He pumped long and hard, and slapped my ass as he liked. Soon my ass started to ache and my pussy was so wet from him as he used my face hard and fast.  When he came down my throat he pulled my head down on him and came hard. I gagged a little on the cum sliding down my throat but he didn't seem to care.   He finally pulled out and used one of the napkins from the floor now to wipe his dick off and then my face.  Then he went over to his bag and pulled out some duct tape.  Putting a small piece across my mouth.  The point was clear, I wasn't suppose to speak. </p><p> </p><p>He grabbed his towel and wrapped it around himself as he picked up a bag of food from the floor setting it on the table on my back.    Soon there was a little pile of ketchup on my back as he slowly dunked each fry and eat it.  It was strangely erotic and I never needed it to stop. I was starting to get bored as he eat his burger and when I started to squirm a little he shook his head at me and moved down my body out of my line of sight. </p><p> </p><p>The slap on my ass cheek bloomed warmth across the surface, and I know it was just the begining.  After another few smacks my ass was sore, but I made no sound for him to stop.    When his finger started to touch my ass hole I began to pull on the belt and the table.  Shifting it from side to side. </p><p> </p><p>"I am going to claim everything that is mine," his voice was a little dark and I shook my head as I bucked and pulled each time he touched my little hole.  "Bad girls don't get to choose," he said as he set down his beer and cleaning up any food that may have fallen on me.  I had stilled like a child trying to hide for punishment.  When the towel dropped to the floor I froze. But his cock was at my very wet entrance and soon he was playing with the head of his cock through my wetness just an inch.  It made me moan and whine. I needed more.  "Shhhhh" he said as his hand grabbed onto my sore bottom I bucked a little as he used the moment to drive in. I moaned and yelled into my duct tape. It was too much, too big.</p><p> </p><p>"Shhhh, its not all the way." He said as he pushed in and out and when he bottomed out the moan wail that came out was of pure pleasure.  "That's my girl." He said pumping in and out slowly.  We were both slick with my wet when he pulled out and his cock touched my ass.  I tensed.  "If you don't relax its going to hurt...." I tried but didn't relax very much.  His hand started to rub my clit.  I started to relax as I felt the feeling build inside me. </p><p> </p><p>When my orgasm started to build it was invaded his cock sliding into my ass.  It didn't hurt pre-say but was different.    He felt even bigger and every time I thought he was done he pulled in and out and then more and more and more.   Finally when he was bottomed out he started to praise me.  "Good girl... god you're so tight...mine...."   It was when his hand started to play with my clit again I couldn't help the noises that escaped. And when the tape was pulled from my mouth the room was filled with heavy breathing, moans, and mew noises I didn't know I made.   Dean was slowly pumping.   "That's right baby... Cum with my cock in your ass..." he said as he started to pick up speed.  Soon I was falling over that cliff and cumming around his huge dick in my ass and no sound came out.   Dean started to pump harder. I was too full, he was going to break me, it was too much.  When he grabbed both my hips and started to jack hammer inside of me his grunts filled the room and a second orgasm hit me.  As he came deep inside my ass I scream his name.  I screamed I fucking hate you, and I screamed please don't stop... </p><p> </p><p>I don't remember the details after that but I woke up in his arms snuggled against his chest in the bed.  It was 3 am and the room was dark.  When I got up to use the bathroom I didn't make a noise. And after I checked the damage to my very sore ass.  It was very red but not bruising.    When I slide back into bed Dean made room for me in the crock of his arm and I settled in.   But I couldn't sleep.   I was so relieved to be here but not satisfied yet.  My hand gently tickeled across his chest and as I slowly moved down his chest to his abs in his sleep his breathing changed.  He was having a good dream.  I slid below the covers getting a devious idea.  My hand taking his large member and gently pumping, tickeling and massaging the area.  When he was hard as I rock I realized how bad I needed him.  I shifted and was straddling him as his member touched my core.</p><p> </p><p>I used him gently as a toy for a moment, to build more wetness. I knew I wasn't going to go slow.  I needed him... When I dropped myself down fully onto him his eyes shot open I began to bounce up and down on his cock.  His eyes watching my face and my breast bounce.  He shifted a little and I moaned, him hitting a new place inside me.  He reached up and went to play with my breasts but I slapped them away.  Pulling his arms above his head. The message was clear, if  I can't touch neither can you.  </p><p> </p><p>He watched the show as I pumped up and down pulling him deeper and deeper inside me.  I started to play with my chest and he watched as I pinched my nipples and rolled them. Moaning when the pressure was just right.  My hand slowly slid down my body and started to play with my clit....  My first orgasm was small as I squeezed him and he only watched.  Now was time to step it up. </p><p> </p><p>Soon we were sitting up against the headboard and he was deep inside me, now face to face he nibbled at my neck as I used his shoulders for leverage.  When his hand found my clit I didn't stop pumping. It felt so good.   When his lips found my neck and then I felt the sting of a bite I couldn't stop I was so close.   When he stopped moving and I felt as he came deep inside me I pulled him close to me and bite down on his neck as I came deep around him.  I had never felt anything like that and the sparks behind my eyes and sensation where the most intense.   This time after cleaning up I felt like I could sleep and all Dean wanted to do was cuddle. </p><p> </p><p>"I hate you sometimes..." he said a little under his breathe...</p><p> </p><p>"I hate you too."</p><p> </p>
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